So, I tried League of Legends…

As I think you all probably know, I am lacking in the friends department. I think something that upsets me is how much I love gaming, and I have like, no gamer friends. After scrolling through Tik Tok, I found a gamer girl who I’ve been following for a while. I can’t remember her name (if I do, I’ll include it in the comments) but she did a League of Legends anthem. Since then, I’ve been considering playing for a while. I talked to Josh about it, done a little bit of research (usually Josh is my research but he knew nothing so I had to actually put effort into this), and decided that it was worth a try.

I downloaded and installed the game, and then got a little overwhelmed but I successfully got through the tutorial. I played a few games, and from then I think it’s fair to say I’ve loved it since.

I’m not good at all. Like, nowhere near. I kind of feel bad for my teammates, if I’m being perfectly honest. I bought a few champions with in-game money (no mother, don’t freak, I did not spend real-life money on this game… yet). I talked about it with Josh, because I have no one else to talk to, and he was helping me basically understand what the different classes mean and how I wasted my money on something else when I should have saved to get a good tank. So that’s that.

But honestly, I love it. I usually, as I’ve said before, get frustrated when I die in games. Not really when I die, but when it’s over and over and over again. Like I said, I am nowhere near good at this game. But even when I die, I still have fun (as I said though, I do feel sorry for my teammates because, in reality, I have no clue what I’m doing). Also, earlier I mentioned that I got some champions. Why? Persona 5 references. No other reason. It was LeBlanc and Morgana and honestly, I have no clue how to use them (I was just getting my head wrapped around Miss Fortune).

I know this is a short post, but it’s something that I had to share. League of Legends is a game where everyone starts off at the same level. It’s not half as intimidating as I thought it would be. If you have been considering trying the game and needed a sign, this is it. Plus, if it can run on my laptop, it can probably run on yours.

You all know how big I am with console gaming… but this one game genuinely got me considering getting a gaming PC (I’m not going to… yet). There’s been a few times where Josh is on the PS4 and I don’t want to get in the way of that, so I went on LOL instead and still had fun.

If you already play or sign up because of this post, add me! My name is Elzybellz13 (I think). I don’t recommend playing a game with me because I suck but it’ll be nice to have some friends!

I hope you are keeping safe and having a happy new year! Happy gaming 😊

An insight into what I think a game about DID should be like

Okay, you guys know me well enough to know that a lot of my posts are impulsive and full of emotion. This… is kind of like that… but at the same time, not really. You see, I’ve thought about this a lot. I just never thought I would put it out into the world.

So, for those who are just stumbling on this post randomly- hi! My name is Eleanor and I have DID. I also like games. But I have a huge problem combining the two because gaming companies and writers often get it wrong.

DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) is a mental disorder that… is a very touchy subject. There has been a huge amount of incorrect information, and it’s been glamorised massively by media. So, I came up with a way of portraying DID without making it seem okay. DID may seem okay on the surface, even a little cool, but ultimately it’s not. It’s a lot of not knowing who you are, where you are, anything about yourself. It tends to be a lot of flashbacks and losing time and it’s scary sometimes because it’s almost like you have no control over your own life. Personally, I think video games would do the best job at portraying this. I’ve done a post about whether or not video games should tackle the topic of mental health. You can read it here if you want to, and I would recommend just giving it a skim over before reading this post if you haven’t already.

https://eleanorreesgaming.com/2020/05/10/should-mental-illness-be-used-in-video-games/

The conclusion of that post was that mental illness should only be portrayed in video games (or even movies, TV shows and books) if it shows the whole thing, the whole experience. I stand by this. So, with that in mind, here is what I think a DID video game could possibly look like:

So, it opens with an informative screen. I think that this part is very important. Make the audience know that DID is a very real condition that real-life people suffer with due to repeated childhood trauma. Bonus points if there are statistics. There’s not a lot of research on DID in general, but it would be a great idea to look into it, get in contact with people who live with the condition etc. Make your audience know. Heck, if you did the last part, maybe even have a sit-down interview with someone with the condition and animate it in the style of your game. I imagine that would be interesting to see, and a pretty cool way of introducing your audience to the animation style.

For the tutorial, have the audience go through the main character’s childhood. Why? Because they should understand from the beginning that the condition is from repeated childhood trauma. My advice would be to keep it in the first person for as long as possible. I’m thinking Fallout 3 when the dad is encouraging the child to walk. That type of basic tutorial. And then, as the trauma starts to happen, obviously alters develop. However, to kind of keep the suspense, keep it in the first person. Don’t have any options to change alters or even a way to make it obvious of the change. A cool thing that happened with my system that I’ve heard happen with a lot is one of my alters is colour blind, so the world would obviously look different to that alter.

Before we move on, I want to discuss things that you should not do under any circumstances. No ‘evil’ alter, because DID is enough of a horror movie troupe. We get so much crap because of movies like Split. We don’t need any more of that. So it goes without saying, a horror game is off the table. Sci-fi probably isn’t the best idea either. Do not use the term ‘multiple personality disorder’ because that is not what it is called. Don’t assume that your audience is too stupid to not google what DID is (this obviously won’t be much of an issue if you’ve taken into account the intro part of this post).

So, what would work? Maybe an RPG. Going on a quest to do something heroic. Playing as different characters is usually a pretty fun part of a game, so switch alters when needed. Fighting needs to be done? Bring out the protector. Hard puzzle? Maybe there’s someone in there who can solve it. This is how I deal with life in general, so I think switching when needed would be quite a good thing. I would recommend not giving the player the chance to switch whenever they want to whoever they want, just because that isn’t how DID works. It needs to be more out of necessity, there should be a need for an alter to come out. If you want a little humour, however, bring a little out at random times. When the little comes out, change the goal to something a child would want to do, but also something that would help the mission.

That is really all I’ve come up with. I’m sure I’ll have the odd idea or two but I’ll update you when they come! Do you have any ideas? Leave them in the comments, I’d love to hear them!

Gaming quote of the week #7

“Don’t ever stop. Always keep going, no matter what happens and is taken from you. Even when life is so unfair, don’t give up.”- Ezio, Assassins Creed II

I think this year has been bad in some way for everyone. I actually liked the quarantine because I don’t like going outside and interacting with other people. I wasn’t bored because I had Uni to do, but I also got through games a lot faster than I would have if we weren’t all locked down.

Personally, I don’t think 2021 is going to be much better. I think people are going to be disappointed, like they are every year. But the thing is, what difference does it make? You have to do what you want to do when you want to do it, regardless of the year or month or date. Unless it’s breaking some kind of rules, I say go for it! Just don’t let a “bad year” be the reason you give up. You’re so much better than that.

Happy New Years Eve, Gamers. Thank you for making my 2020 better. See you in 2021 with a new post (and of course the obligatory “I haven’t posted since last year” joke).

‘Detroit: Become Human’ (2018)- Game Review

Hey, Gamers! So, I played a new game! Shocker, right? I actually really liked it, so I thought I would do a game review! Obviously… otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this. So, here’s my game review for Detroit: Become Human!

So, I really need to preface this with the fact that just after I started playing this game, I got diagnosed with Autism. I say this because I used this game a lot as an example for how things affect me sensory wise, so I will be talking about that a little bit, especially in the sound and gameplay sections. But without digressing further, here we go!

Sound:

The music and voice acting are pretty good in this game. The sound effects (such as footsteps, the rain and so on) are as they should be. However, this game takes sound a little further. The characters are androids, so if a part is missing, their hearing would be affected and that shows in the game. There is a particular chapter where one of the main characters ends up in a junkyard (that actually can happen a few times in the game for several of the characters so I wouldn’t class this as a spoiler), and some of his parts are missing. You have to dig around the junkyard to find compatible parts from other androids. I bring this up because the sound is painful. The sound is just as you expect it would be, but it’s not something you would really think they would care about putting in so I very much appreciate it. You can still hear things, it’s just there is clearly something missing. When the character finds the part, the sound is restored back to normal and it made me feel thankful for being able to hear clearly. The voice acting, like I said, is pretty great in this game. The emotions of the characters are important to the story, and you can hear them clearly with most of the characters. The music is also rather fitting, changing to increase tension or to soften the moment.

Rating: 8.5/10

Graphics:

When companies like Bethesda and Rockstar are as big as they are, we as gamers expect glitches in games. As long as the games are fun to play, we tend to ignore any bugs that creep up. After at least three full playthroughs of Detroit: Become Human, it can be safely said that this game has very limited glitches or bugs (in my experience). The characters all move like they should, scenes load in well. The rain lands on the floor well (as weird as that sounds). There have been moments in the game where I forgot I was playing a game and thought I was watching a live-action movie (although they are only brief moments).

Rating: 8/10

Gameplay:

The game is very linear in the sense of you get to play as the characters, but you can only do certain aspects. However, it is almost like a choice-based game (along the lines of Life Is Strange and Until Dawn). The game is chapter-based, and what happens depends heavily on your choices and actions. You get to play as three different characters, all of them being androids. They are very different characters and you get to experience their lives when their worlds change. As for actually playing the game, there are quite a few cutscenes, but none of which are long enough for you to feel comfortable putting the controller down. The controls of the game resemble the character’s actions. For example, if you have to crawl, you will have to press L2 for so long to control the left arm, and then R2 to control the right. In the scene that I previously mentioned, when the character is getting parts from the other androids, you have to button mash or hold a button as he struggles to remove the part. However, when the character is really to put the parts in himself, he just jabs it in so it’s just a quick button press. It almost feels like he’s shoving it in swiftly and sharply, as though ripping off a bandage. If you play in hard mode, there are motion controls which is something that I have always been impressed within games. It does not happen often, but it is used effectively and consistently throughout the game. There are quite a few different controls, but none of them are used for the sake of it. The gameplay experienced is only more immersive with the more complex controls.

Rating: 9/10

Replay Value:

So at the end of each chapter, the player gets given a flowchart of their actions. It shows that things are missing. You can’t do everything or get every magazine in one playthrough. However, because the story can change so much with each decision each of the three main characters take when you play it again, the story could be completely different. This is most notable with the character of Connor, as the player gets to make more impactful choices while playing as him.

Rating: 9.5/10

Story:

This story is impactful, emotional and very touching. There will be spoilers for the game from this point forward. This part needs to be split into three as the story is told through three different perspectives and three different stories.

Kara
Kara’s story starts in a Cyberlife shop, where Todd comes to pick her up. The shop assistant mentions that the android (Kara) was pretty broken when Todd brought her in. Todd dismisses it as saying she was hit by a car. We find out immediately that Alice, Todd’s daughter, named the android Kara.
As the story progresses, we meet Alice and find out that Todd is abusive (towards both Alice and Kara). The game plays out so that the player feels a need to protect Alice, so when the time comes, the player goes to protect Alice and has the chance to actually kill Todd. Both Alice and Kara can die in this scene.
When Kara and Alice leave, they find a place to say somewhere (either a car, an abandoned house or a motel). Connor and Hank almost catch them the next day, so they run across a very busy road. Kara, Alice and Connor can all die on this road. If Kara and Alice survive, they go to Zlatko’s house after an android told them about it in a previous chapter. They go there with the hopes of being safe. They just want to be safe. I typically don’t put my thoughts and feelings in this section (or at least I try not to) but as someone who has been in several abusive homes and has been homeless, this story really hits all the spots that it should. All they want is to be safe. That shouldn’t be hard, but because they live in an anti-android society, it is. So naturally, when Zlatko offers to help them, they jump at the chance. There is a chance that Kara’s memory gets set here, but a powerful aspect of that route is how easy it is for her to regain her memory because of Alice. She loves Alice so much that she has to regain her memory. It is such a powerful aspect to the story, to their story.
At this point, Luther joins Kara and Alice as they strive towards their new goal- Canada. This means that there is now a goal for the androids, instead of wandering around looking for a safe place. Crossing the border is harder than it probably should be, though. Kara meets a lot of different people while trying to get a fresh start with Alice and Luther, such as the Jerrys, the mutilated androids (also that is in Zlatko’s house) and Rose. Rose is a human who sympathises with androids in a time where she could probably be arrested for it. She is the one who helps them cross the border but to tie the stories together, she directs Kara, Alice and (if alive) Luther to Jericho, which will be talked about in much more detail in the other two stories, but for now, what is important is that Kara meets Markus. This game ties three different stories together in a way that it seems natural for them to be like that. It is beautifully crafted, and the fact that what the player does as Markus can heavily affect Kara’s chance of successfully crossing the border is something that was rather powerful to witness.
While playing the game, you have these three separate stories of these three very different characters with very different objectives. It feels… small, almost, putting it like that. By pulling all the loose ends together, the player realises that there is much more going on than just these three stories. It’s most impactful at the end of Kara’s story when they make it all the way to the border and if Markus conducts a revolution, they just get shot right there and then. Of course, this is only one ending and one route but it is such a powerful one.
Kara’s story takes almost a back seat in comparison to Connor’s and Markus’. The other two are so involved in deviants and the android cause, whereas all Kara wants is to protect Alice.

Markus
Markus’ story is a rather sad one, yet so powerful. He had a good life when the game started. He was the android to Carl Manfred, a painter. Carl was involved in an accident before the game that resulted in him being a paraplegic. Markus was a gift to Carl from Elijah Kamski, who is the inventor of androids and the former CEO of Cyberlife. Carl loved Markus like a son. Markus had a good life, especially in comparison with other androids you can see around the city. However, that all changed when an argument with Leo, Carl’s son, became physical. The police showed up and shot Markus right on the spot, showing that whatever the situation, android lives really do not matter to the police.
With the obvious hint towards police brutality when handling minority groups aside, the player does not expect to see Markus again. Only, his story is much more than an android who was treated right by his owner getting shot because of his owner’s son. So much more.
After waking up in the junkyard, Markus finds useable parts to fix his broken ones, climbs up the mountain of android bodies and sets off on a mission to find Jericho. He’s lost, essentially. At this point, Carl is either dead or deteriorating (Markus probably didn’t want to just go back to the house he just got shot at). He has nowhere to go, so when one of the destroyed androids momentarily boots up to tell him about Jericho, he starts there.
Markus is arguably the most interesting of all three main characters because he started off being treated right by his owner. He ends up leading either a revolution or a peaceful protest and can potentially save all androids. He started off with a privileged life in comparison to other androids… only to be the one to lead them to freedom. 
There’s a lot of gameplay aspects that are really fun and interesting, and his story is intriguing. This game could have been done with just Markus, really. However, the other characters you get to play as very much compliment the story. Actions taken as Markus have large effects on public opinion, which heavily impact how you play the game and who lives or dies.

Connor
Connor is the most complicated of the three main characters to write about, as you get much larger choices with him. Connor is a deviant hunter, working with Detroit Police to track down any deviants that happen to get in trouble with the law (whether that be by committing a crime like murder or running away from an unsafe environment). Connor always accomplishes his mission, which is jeopardised when he is paired with Hank. Hank doesn’t like androids, and he doesn’t like Connor. He has been working in the police force for a very long time, and the player quickly gets a sense of someone that has given up on life from Hank. Over the course of the game, Connor can either follow his programming or listen to his heart. Hank heavily encourages the latter, to the point where most of the decisions that can open up the option for Connor himself to become deviant are based on Hank and how Connor treats him.
Connor is the only character that comes back to life after he dies in the game. After all, he is working with the police and therefore he is needed. So… he doesn’t come back to life as much as he gets replaced by a different Connor.
It’s through Connor that you learn in detail about the ‘war’ between humans and androids, as he is a key part in it. Connor’s story has a lot more world-building, in the sense of putting what is going on in Markus’ and Kara’s stories into perspective. You can see both sides of the ‘war’ through Connor’s eyes. You learn a lot about the police and their roles, about Cyberlife and the creator of androids, and you see the tensions rise before the ‘war’. Connor is much more involved on the humans side than Markus and Kara, so it’s more thrown in your face when playing his story.
Going back to the fact that the decisions you make as Connor being much larger than those made as Kara and even Markus, Connor has life and death at his fingertips several times throughout the game. He knows that if he arrests Kara in the chapter ‘On The Run’, she will be destroyed. Kara can die whilst trying to escape him. Markus can die several times because of Connor. There are other androids who can die because of Connor (such as Simon and Carlos’ android).
The most important decision you can make as Connor is whether or not he becomes deviant. Some players may not have the option to become deviant, depending on how they play (as it is based on Connor’s software instability). Depending on which one you pick, the game goes down two completely different routes. Both of them are equally as interesting to see, and the story of both of them is worth playing the game again. The choices you make as Connor strongly affect a lot of the game, but the story doesn’t lack whenever it branches off like it sometimes did in other games.

Rating: 9/10

Opinion:

I think it is easy to say that I adored this game with every fibre of my body. It really came into my life at the time when I needed it most. The story helped me cope with my new diagnosis, the gameplay was… well… I’ve never enjoyed playing a game so much because of the gameplay. I’ve never been able to say “it feels good to play that game” before I played this game. The vibrations of the controller are just right, the motion senses come along frequently enough to be enjoyable yet not too much that it’s annoying.

It’s not a hard game, even when you play it on hard mode (which I don’t recommend if you have any issues with you arms or shoulders). It’s a game that is there for the story, which I have always said is what I look for first in games. I cannot get into a game unless there is a good story, and this one got me interested straight away.

I played about two chapters a night, some of them are longer and some of them are shorter. It was nice to play, I really appreciated the story, and it has easily become one of my favourite games. The only issue that I had with the whole game was in the chapter ‘From The Dead’, I had an issue sensory wise as the sound hurt my ears. I can’t see that being much of an issue for anyone who doesn’t have sensory issues- if anyone has the same problem, you can turn your sound right down until Markus finds the thing that goes in his ear. Wait a few seconds after that, and then you’ll be good.

Overall Rating- 9.3/10

Quote of the week #6

“Wasn’t that, like… way more detailed than some rough idea?”- Ryuji Sakamoto, Persona 5 Royal

Happy Boxing Day, Gamers! Thought it might be nice to do a nice little quote of the week. I know some of you guys miss my Persona 5 posts so I decided to do one from Royal!

Also I got the Arsene Lupin book for Christmas and it just reminded me of this quote. And I got Dancing in Starlight for Christmas so more Persona 5 content will be coming soon!

I hope everyone is having a nice holiday! I’m about to start playing League of Legends so wish me luck!

Does The Bloody Baron deserve redemption?

Since Cyberpunk 2077 has been… not the best, I thought I would take us back to a game that CD Projekt Red was very successful with: The Witcher 3.

I loved this game, and it’s very different from my comfort of Persona 5. I actually started playing The Witcher 3 before I started Persona 5 (I bounced between the two before finally finishing it earlier on this year). As usual, I have to give props to Josh because he went on and on about how he thought I would like this game (at this point, you’d think I’d believe him but nah).

As you guys probably know, I have been in several abusive situations before. Therefore, I was interested when I heard a quest for an abusive man. I was… invested. I think my first instinct was to go on a rant to Josh about how abusers shouldn’t have a redemption, all that stuff. I don’t think it was that long after until I started playing it, and the quest is pretty early on in the game. To this day, I am still torn.

I’ve watched Josh play Red Dead Redemption 2 enough (okay, I have played bits but what I’m saying is mainly from what I’ve watched) to know that sometimes, ‘bad’ people can be redeemed. However, I’ve definitely played enough of the Witcher 3 to know that there isn’t really any ‘good’ people. That leads me to the question of who deserves redemption if there is only evil and lesser evil?

My first thought was obviously ‘lesser evil’ because that’s obvious. But that led onto a bunch of other questions about what makes an evil person a lesser evil person, and I went on and on about it depending on what they did like this was some hypothetical question. But it’s not, because we have the perfect example of where the line crosses with the Bloody Baron.

So, the Bloody Baron is actually called Phillip Strenger. He’s the self-proclaimed Baron of Crow’s Perch (as the last owner fled due to the threat of approaching armies). He chose to be a soldier and got badly hurt in one of the wars. He was tended to by Anna, who he later married. The couple had a baby girl, Tamara. Phillip’s job meant that he was away from home a lot, which meant that Anna had to raise Tamara by herself. Due to the trauma of war and the pain of being away from his family, Phillip turned to alcohol. He soon became dependant on alcohol, which led to one of Tamara’s first memories being her father passed out, clutching a bottle while covered in mud. Due to his alcoholism and his absence, Anna began to have an affair with a childhood friend. She tried to leave Phillip, leaving behind a letter and taking their daughter, presumably knowing that Phillip would not be able to look after her and that their daughter would have a better life with a father figure present. However, Phillip was furious when he found the letter. He found Anna and her new partner and killed him. Anna was obviously traumatised by this and tried to stab him. At the end of the day, if he could kill her partner, what was to stop him from killing her and their child? However, Phillip beat her and took her (and presumably Tamara) home. That was the start of their abusive relationship.

So, here, we have a husband who is gone for the majority of the time, turns to alcohol, and is abusive. Does he deserve redemption at this point? No. At least, I don’t think so. His wife cheated on him, yes, but that was because he was gone for so long because of a job that he chose to do. She was probably very lonely and struggling to raise a child by herself. My theory is that her childhood friend offered to lend a helping hand with Tamara, and over time they fell in love as they were around each other a lot.

A huge argument for why Phillip does deserve redemption is because, in the game, he is shown to be remorseful. Here’s the thing: most abusers do seem remorseful. That’s why people stay in abusive relationships for so long. I really wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but when thinking of my own experiences and experiences of others that I’ve been told about… I just can’t.

Another reason for Phillip to be redeemed, I’ve seen, is that he’s only violent because of his job. He’s a soldier, so he’s prone to violence. I feel like people who argue this just forget that he chose that career. He chose a life of violence.

So, you may ask, why would Anna marry him in the first place? First of all, she probably didn’t know that he would turn to alcohol and become dependant on it. Second of all, marriage is sometimes a thing of convenience instead of an act of love. It was likely more convenient for her (or maybe also her family) to get married and settle down with someone who at least had a job. There is also a chance that he paid her family for her hand in marriage.

So does he deserve redemption? No. Not really. There’s a good chance that his ‘remorse’ is just a way to get Anna back and to make people feel sorry for him. Is it all his fault? No. Addiction is a scary thing that genetics play a huge part in. However, he did choose his job; he chose to marry his wife, and he chose to go after her; which resulted in him murdering a man.

So, that’s it for this post, Gamers! Don’t forget to leave your thoughts about this in the comments, leave a like for me to do a happy dance and follow for more gaming content like this! I’m excited to read what you all think about this topic!

In defense of Jaehee’s route- Mystic Messenger

Hey, Gamers! I think you guys liked my last Mystic Messenger post (and with the recent release of Ray’s after ending) so I thought I would go ahead and start talking more in detail about the characters and their routes and what’s special about each of them. Since I assume a lot of my followers haven’t played this game, I thought I would start with a common route character before jumping in the deep end with all the issues I had with Another Story and Ray’s route. The character we are going to be discussing today is Jaehee Kang. I thought I’d start with Jaehee because I know a lot of people have a not so good opinion of her route. From what I understand, it’s because you cannot romance her like you can with the other (male) characters. This blog post is going to explain why that isn’t a bad thing (apart from the obvious homophobic connotations of having a romance gaming but not being able to romance the only female character that has a route), and how Jaehee’s route is actually pretty damn good. We all know this blog is here to spread some positivity and break down the stigma that surrounds gaming, so I thought this was the perfect place to start with Mystic Messenger.

The main point of Jaehee’s route is that what she really needs is a friend, and I feel like a lot of people miss that point. There is justification for each of the boys to have a relationship- Zen and Yoosung are both practically desperate, and Seven and Jumin both do better with MC than without (let’s not talk about Another Story in this post. I want to keep this positive). Jaehee, however, stated time and time again that she did not want a relationship, and that she did not have time for a relationship. To dig into this a little deeper, let’s take a little detour and look at Jaehee and her background.

Jaehee Kang is a 25-year-old who works as Chief Assistant to Jumin Han, heir to C&R (a very large company in the Mystic Messenger universe, one that owns several other companies). Jaehee grew up, from what we can tell, without much of a father figure. Her mother also died when she was around 15 (9th grade in Korea), her mother passed away after getting into a car accident. She then moved in with family, her uncle and aunt. Her aunt thought that she was a burden on the family, but her uncle felt like he had to take care of Jaehee for his sister’s sake. From flashbacks in Jaehee’s route, we see that her aunt had strong objections to anything she did, such as living with them and going to college instead of getting a job. This is important as this likely made Jaehee feel like a burden. This feeling is one she will likely hold for the rest of her life. Nonetheless, Jaehee gets a scholarship to go to university. She actually got into a top university and graduated a whole year early. From there, she was immediately employed by Jumin Han, who was looking for an assistant after being let down by his last one. He picked Jaehee after his best friend, V, made the suggestion after looking at her CV.

Jaehee has worked hard her whole life so that she did not have to burden anyone. Something you see in pretty much every single route is Jaehee working late. She doesn’t have time to look after herself, because she has to work so that she is not a burden on the company like she was made to feel like a burden to her family. She makes herself sick just to not feel like a burden.

I believe that the fear of being a burden is what stops Jaehee from getting into a stable relationship. It’s the reason I feel like she would not be in a position to be in a relationship with MC. In relationships, you need to be able to rely on the other person without constantly feeling like a burden. I don’t think Jaehee has the ability to do that. Even in the after ending, and probably after, when Jaehee and MC have a café together… I think Jaehee would already feel like she was burdening MC by asking her to give up her life to start a café with her. Even after working on herself, I really don’t think it would be enough. I think she will always have this issue, of feeling like she is a burden.

Now that I’ve covered why Jaehee cannot be in a successful romantic relationship, let’s look at what she actually needs to help her, and how that can be successful: friendship.

See, sometimes people just need a friend. Jaehee is so busy, regardless of the route, she needs someone to check up on her from time to time without the feeling of her being a burden. MC can do that regardless of the route, but in Jaehee’s route… they clearly have a special kind of friendship. In Jaehee’s route, she won’t have to worry about whether she is taking MC away from another character, or if she’s taking her away from something else. MC makes it clear how much she cares for Jaehee and Jaehee’s happiness in her route, which is different from the other routes because she’s much more on the guidelines as she is focused on the other characters.

The right kind of friendship could help Jaehee not only overcome the feeling of being a burden that was inflicted on her by her aunt but also – I believe – could help her overcome the trauma that came with the death of her mother. A good friend could encourage her to go to therapy without making it a requirement of their friendship. A good friend could be a shoulder to cry on when Jaehee feels comfortable enough to, but there’s the option to leave if she feels like it is too much. A good friend knows how to install boundaries for both parties, and that is the one thing that will help Jaehee in the long run, more than anything.

Jaehee’s route is easily the best because it is the most different. There’s no rushed romance, no worrying if you’re going to say the wrong thing and they end up killing you and themselves (yeah, I’m looking at you, Yoosung). It is just… chill. It’s lovely.

So, my dear readers, I urge you to give Jaehee’s route another chance while keeping all of this in mind. It’s different because you can’t date her, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad because you can’t date her (other than the blatant homophobia previously mentioned). I would love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments, and don’t forget to like for me to do a little happy dance, and follow for more content like this!

Real quick personal note: this week, my blog has hit 100 likes and 50 followers! This is a huge accomplishment, and I want to thank each and every one of you. I was unmotivated and scared before coming back off my break, but you guys have blown me away with the love and support I’ve received. I hope to keep posting cool stuff that you guys like and/or find helpful. Thanks, Gamers 🙂

Gaming quote of the Week #5

“The darkness may destroy my body, but it can’t touch my heart. My heart will stay with my friends. It’ll never die!”- Sora, Kingdom Hearts (2002)

There’s no funny quote this time, no jokes or a funny story to tell. The heartless in Kingdom Hearts equate, for me at least, to depression. The darkness that comes with it, sweeping your brain and making you feel not enough. I thought this was a nice quote in case you guys needed reminding that mental illness can’t touch your heart (no matter how much you may think it can and is). Remember that you have friends and family that love you, that you have people who are worth fighting for. Please seek help if you’re able to, reach out and talk to friends.

I hope you’re all okay, or at least as okay as you can be.

My Top 10 Favourite Confidant Arcs in Persona 5 Royal

Now, I have done posts on the best confidants, and I have done posts on my favourite personas… so I decided to let you guys know my favourite confidant arcs in Persona 5 Royal. It is different from the original game, so please be aware of that if you haven’t managed to play Royal yet. Also, there will be spoilers for all of these confidants, so if you don’t want to know about a particular one, just skip over!

10) Ann
This is one that was not going to include on the list. I don’t like Ann’s confidant arc as much as I probably would like to. However, I do like the passion in her heart that – while it is sometimes seen in the story – is mainly seen throughout her confidant. Ann’s confidant arc shows her jumping from one thing to the next while trying to better herself. It is a typical teenage thing to do. She just wants to be a better version of herself, as do most teenagers, and is struggling with how to express that or make that happen. I do enjoy this particular aspect of her confidant as it is probably one of the most relatable. I don’t like how she doesn’t seem to change much, a lot of it is centred around someone else (Shiho) who doesn’t appear a lot and she’s a model, which is something that relies on her looks. I think at the beginning of the game, it was made clear that all people saw in Ann was her looks and I think that they really did her a disservice by enforcing that in her part-time job.

9) Makoto
Makoto is probably my favourite original Phantom Thief. I love her, I love her persona and I love her perceptive. If only her arc was about her development more than saving her friend. Of course, this is purely my interpretation and thoughts on the arc and if you think differently, please leave a comment! I feel like the arc started off pretty strong, and I liked how Makoto quickly made a friend. The way she made a friend was believable and I could envision it happening in real life. However, she seemed to put her own personal development on hold just so she could ‘save’ her friend. Yes, her friend needed saving. There is no denying that she was in danger. However, the main thing I am not happy within the arc is how much time is taken up by Eiko’s issues. I feel like that time could have possibly been better spent exploring Makoto’s self-worth or even her relationship with her sister. Makoto was someone who wanted to please others and was willing to do anything to do so. When she became a Phantom Thief, that changed. I feel like that they had great potential to show what lack of praise can do for someone like that emotionally; she would have needed a friend and Joker was there. Although we did see Makoto quite vulnerable in parts of her arc, I don’t think it was as much a part of her character development but more about establishing her character.

8) Ohya
Keep in mind that I’m rating this on the arc, not the abilities. I actually adore Ohya’s arc. I love how she comes across as a selfish drunk when really she is someone who cares more about her friend than herself and is desperate to find her. So desperate, in fact, that she turns to alcohol to ease the pain. I am by no means saying that Ohya is a good person. Using Joker, pretending that she was in a relationship to try and get her boss off her back, that’s not something that a good person does. What I am saying is that her story was written amazingly. They clearly put a lot of thought and effort into a character that… I mean, they must have known how awful her abilities are! Not a lot of people get to rank 10 with Ohya, she’s probably one of the most ‘left out’ confidants. Yet she has this amazing story.

7) Akechi
So, this is based on Royal for obvious reasons (Morgana would be on this list if I was including automatic confidants). Let me preface this by saying that before going into Royal, I hated Akechi. I have this thing where I get way too invested into fictional stories, more so than my own life, and I feel a real, emotional connection to characters. I felt this with Akechi in the original Persona 5 game… but the emotion was rage. I genuinely have never hated a character more in my entire life (and that’s saying something because I read Mockingjay and literally could not stand Coin). Playing Royal (which would be my third time playing the story), I really wanted to at least try to give him another chance since at this point I had a fan account and everyone loved Akechi. By the second confidant rank, I was obsessed. I loved him too. It really made the whole betrayal thing that much harder to deal with. I have always said that the writing behind Akechi as a villain is phenomenal. I have never once had an issue with the writing. As a writer myself, I commended the writers purely for Akechi. I have spoken about Akechi’s writing in writer support groups, I have even thought about it while writing my own book. So, you could probably imagine my surprise when the writing for Akechi was so much better in Royal. I was taken on such an emotional roller coaster. Even though I roughly knew what was going to happen, I was still blown away. So why, I assume you’re asking, is Akechi’s arc so far up this list? Well, my lovely reader, that is because it wasn’t… satisfying. I felt like there needed to be more. It was probably the intention of the writers; they were probably trying to keep the suspense. In a game about social justice, can there be a satisfying answer in the world we live in? No. Not really. And I really think that this hit hard for me with Akechi’s arc. I do think, however, that things could have been done differently to make the arc a little more satisfying to the player. This is probably something that only I have an issue with, to be honest, and I am fine with that. At the end of the day, I don’t tend to play games for the gameplay. I typically just play for the story. Akechi’s arc was one hell of a story that obviously tied in well with the main narrative, more so than any others, but especially in the third semester… I felt like there was something off, I guess. 

6) Haru Okumura
Okay so, Haru’s confidant abilities are amazing and sincerely underappreciated because she comes in so late in the game. I think we, as a fanbase, was hoping that this issue would be solved in Royal, but it is not. In my playthrough, Haru was the only Phantom Thief I did not get to Rank 10 before Christmas. I have previously got her to Rank 10 in the original Persona 5, but her abilities are notably better in Royal, which excites me and makes me want to get her to Rank 10 in my next playthrough. However, we’re not talking about abilities in this post. Haru’s confidant arc was well written, in my opinion. However, it is still lacking. There could have been so much more surrounding her fiancé, to the point where I felt like there should be. Like, I was expecting it. I was expecting to have to change the heart of Sugimura. I wanted to, even. I think it was just… obvious. It would make sense for us to have to change his heart. At the end of the day, even if (when) Haru would not have to follow through on the marriage, he would just move on to someone else. Changing his heart would stop that and, by extension, save other potential victims. Even putting that aside, Haru’s confidant – while rushed – makes sense, almost. This girl just lost her father but has to deal primarily with business matters, when it is pretty obvious that she does not care about the business. At the end of the day, the business had caused Haru a lot of pain in her life and therefore, her reaction to this situation almost makes sense. Her want to hold on to it because it is essentially part of her father, whom she loved dearly, despite everything that he put her through, is shown through her confidant several times. She wants to do what is best for the company because that is what her father would want to do. It’s not, however, what he would want her to do and that is shown heavily through Haru’s lack of business knowledge. Haru’s father clearly intended to marry her to someone who was more knowledgeable about business, because otherwise, he would have either educated her himself or put her in some kind of business class. But he never intended for her to run the business, and that is how they added to his character after his death. He never wanted his daughter, his only child, to run his business. He only saw her as someone to marry off to someone who knew how to run a business successfully or to help advance his career in some other way.

5) Maruki
I loved the first half of Maruki’s confidant. I really enjoyed it overall. I do, however, believe that there was a point where it just started… lacking. Okay, let’s be honest here, doing this list is hard for me because I love this game so much and it’s hard to point out any flaws, especially with the new characters. I do appreciate the effort that they went through to set up the third semester. Like, I think that would have taken a lot of hard work and creativity. However, I think it was just after Hawaii that I went from loving Maruki (he was literally my favourite) to just thinking he was… meh. And that was disappointing for me. It’s even more disappointing because I cannot exactly pinpoint why it happened. There was not anything apparently wrong. It just felt different. I did enjoy Rank 10. I also liked how it fit in with the third semester. As far as I remember, being pretty active on Instagram due to my Persona 5 fan page, everyone knew Maruki was important to get up to 10 before Sae’s deadline day. It’s just a lot of us didn’t know why. I think finishing a non-phantom thieves confidant as early as Sae’s palace felt a little weird, but having the knowledge that it was important to unlock the third semester made it all worth it.

4) Takemi
I have actually got Takemi to rank 10 in every playthrough. She was one of my first Rank 10s, and she usually still is. The main reason for this is because… Alice is one of my favourite personas and the earlier I can get her the better. Apart from that, I enjoy Takemi’s story. Her later abilities aren’t as good as the ones in the middle in my opinion, but her story is worth following through on. In a similar, much less unpopular, situation to Ohya, Takemi’s story far outweighs her abilities. That being said, she is one of the most useful confidants to have up to Rank 10. I know my confidant analysis post was long and not about Royal, but Takemi came out on top. But even if she didn’t, I’d still do her story, like I still do Ohya’s. Takemi was basically ostracised from the medical community for a mistake that she didn’t even make. She knows this, yet she seems to embrace her bad reputation. Near the start of her confidant, she turns down an ambulance by citing her reputation. Instead, she works on her medicine. The exact medicine that got her ostracised in the first place. Despite Takemi’s seemingly harsh and uncaring attitude, this shows that she cares about her old patient and she cares about her work. And that’s only in the first few ranks. As time progresses, you see Takemi – with Joker’s help – being more open about treating patients. She even becomes the town doctor. It’s almost like Joker helped her through an emotional hurdle, making her realise that treating people isn’t bad, and that she won’t mess up. Or at least, that’s my interpretation of it. You see, I think there was much more going on with Takemi at the start. I think she was afraid of treating patients until she corrected ‘her’ mistake. Whether that be because patients didn’t want to be seen by her or just because she was afraid of making things worse. In my interpretation of the arc, Takemi was scared, and Joker slowly helped her realise her great abilities of treating and helping other people.

3) Yusuke
Yusuke’s confidant, like the other original characters, didn’t change. However, the third semester has given me a lot to think about. Yusuke, like the others, falls for Maruki’s illusion. His was Madarame being out of jail and having the Sayuri in a museum or art gallery under Yusuke’s mother’s name. This shows that despite all of his confidant arc and him having to tell himself over and over again that Madarme is bad and not the person he thought he was, him being that person is what Yusuke wants more than anything. This was a great addition to Yusuke’s confidant arc because his original confidant shows him finally accepting Madarame was a bad person all along. This shows that there’s still a little doubt in his mind, a part of him that still can’t accept who Madarame was and what he did. Once Yusuke snaps out of it, the Sayuri shows up at Leblanc again. That’s a nice touch. But in all seriousness, Yusuke’s confidant is one that people tend to laugh at when I think they really shouldn’t. I get that Yusuke is a humorous character, but he’s also very hurt and very much struggling during his confidant. His art is the only thing he has ever known, and the person who introduced him to that turned out to be an abuser. His abuser. Yusuke is in pain. He is suffering. And he does what a lot of abuse victims do a lot, which is throwing yourself into something you’re passionate about. Yusuke’s confidant is one of my favourites because it deals with the trauma that comes after the abuse in a way that none of the other confidants really do.

2) Futaba
Futaba… I remember disliking her because she was a bit too much like me. A traumatic background, thinking you’re going to die in your room, blaming yourself for the traumatic event. It ticks all the boxes. But in terms of her confidant… It is very real. It shows the baby steps that you have to take, the want to help others that you go through. Royal was the first time I completed Futaba’s confidant. I always got to like 8 or 9 but then ran out of time. But I prioritised her over Haru this time, and I tried to do her alongside Sojiro (another confidant story I love but didn’t make it on the list). Her confidant arc may not seem like much to people who haven’t gone through anything traumatic, or who don’t suffer from mental illness, but at least to me it was a pretty accurate portrayal of a young girl trying to recover. Sometimes, you just need a friend and Futaba was lucky enough to have Joker. Atlus did a really great job with this confidant arc, and with Futaba in general, so I really applaud them on that. It is much appreciated.

1) Kasumi
Now… you really do not want to read this if you don’t want to know probably the biggest twist in Royal.
Still here? Good.
Sumire’s confidant arc is beautiful. I’ve brought my mental health and traumatic past up so much in this post but I think it’s important for you to know why I relate to certain characters. Sumire’s confidant arc is just one of those. I’ve mentioned before that I have DID (if you want to ask questions, I’ll try my best to answer them! Just drop a comment or message me on Instagram), so I heavily related to going through a traumatic event and not being ‘you’ anymore. But it’s Sumire’s passion and determination to get better that makes this confidant so amazing. The first half was fun. Hanging out with (essentially) Kasumi was great and looking bad, it’s interesting to see the comparison. But Sumire pushing to be herself at the end- that’s the cherry on the cake. That’s what makes this confidant so beautiful.
The whole third semester was about your past and pain making you a better person. Sumire really focuses on that, which makes it so great. I really do not have the words to explain how amazing this confidant fits in with the third semester and how it really ticks all the boxes of an amazing confidant arc. The only thing I didn’t like was the ending. She finally had her place to belong with the Phantom Thieves but she wasn’t with them when their leader goes away and that upset me but the overall arc was great so it’s fine!

Well, there you go! The list is different from my original Persona 5 list, but I hope you enjoyed! Happy Gaming 😊

The Man Who Killed His Own Son- Assassin’s Creed Origins

WARNING: Spoilers for the prologue of Assassin’s Creed Origins.

So, my birthday was late November, and my partner got me Assassin’s Creed Origins! I’m a huge history nerd, but I mainly lean on the side of modern European history, so Ancient Egypt is a huge difference from what I am used to. However, Ancient Egypt is actually one of the only civilizations and time periods other than modern history that I’m interested in. Watching the Yu-Gi-Oh anime would do that to you, I guess.

Now, we all know that I am very picky when it comes to games. I prefer straight forward games, preferably turn-based combat. Whatever the gameplay, it needs to be story-driven. I hadn’t heard great things about Assassin’s Creed. I was interested, because of history, but I had heard so many bad things as of late, I would much rather stick to my normal games. But I decided to try it and I was excited. I had played a little bit of Assassin’s Creed 2, and I what I had played of that.

The main character – Bayek – is a medjay. I did not quite understand the whole thing but after talking to my partner, he told me that Bayek was basically the first Assassin and that’s how it fits into the whole thing. Anyone who knows me knows that I get emotionally attached to characters scarily quick, so I loved him straight away. I got to Siwa, his hometown, and did a few quests. I tried my best to be sneaky, and I think I did a good job. I’m finding it much easier to be sneaky in this game than any other game I’ve played.

Regardless of the gameplay and everything else, there’s something in the game that shocked me. I’ve played a few games, and I’ve watched my partner play a bunch too, but there’s never been a moment that has shocked me like this one. I have a bad habit in open-world games of not… exploring as one should. I know that I should, but if it’s not part of a quest… I struggle to find the point of it. But after this scene… it felt wrong to start a new quest. I just ended up wandering around the map, going to the little question mark parts.

The scene I’m talking about occurs after Bayek kills Medunamun (the quest is level 5, I think), the player gets transported in time. Now, I assumed that Bayek’s son was dead as I had previously come across the quest ‘Bayek’s Promise’, which suggests that his son was dead. The gameplay part after the assassination of Medunamun basically shows how close Bayek was with his son. There are some cute moments, and you can tell that they love and care for each other deeply.

When Bayek gets knocked out and taken somewhere unfamiliar, it is a bigger shock to find his son there (Bayek had told him to go home to his mother). When the Pharaoh arrives, the people who brought him to the place leave, probably to tend to the Pharaoh. Bayek’s son manages to steal a knife from one of them so that Bayek is able to cut himself free from his restraints. However, it’s too late. By the time he’s free, he’s in a fight.

He goes to stab one of the men… who grabs Bayek’s hand… and rams it into his son’s chest.

Bayek killed his own son.

This moment was so impactful. It was a mix of shock, heartbreak… mainly shock. Bayek loved his son so much, and he ended up killing him while trying to protect him. At that moment, I was not okay. I needed a while to process what just happened. Bayek was such a good father. He pushed his son to be the best version of himself, while still being there to hold his hand and direct him when it was needed. And suddenly he was gone, at Bayek’s hand.

I knew I needed to write a post on this because it was so… impactful. I’ve never had a moment in gaming that I just had to stop for a moment. I’ve cried before, sure, but this was different. I struggle to find the words to express the shock that I felt, the… betrayal that I had felt.

I am not the best at linking two and two together. I think the only time I’ve ever managed to do it is in Persona 5 when I realized that Akechi heard Morgana talk and he shouldn’t have because only people who had been to the Metaverse can do that. I thought that Bayek was going around and killing these people because they killed his son. But no. It’s so much deeper than that. He’s doing it, not out of revenge, but out of guilt. The first murder we see where the knife is in the mask and Bayek slams it on the guy’s face is so much more impactful now that I know that these people forced Bayek to kill his own son.

I haven’t played much of this game yet, but it’s so… I wish I was able to think of a word other than ‘impactful’. It shocked me so much that I actually had a dream about it. I know Assassin’s Creed doesn’t have the best reputation lately, and the gameplay is nowhere near perfect, but this- this story, this moment- it was special.

I think everything just happens so quickly. For all I know, my brain just overthought this whole thing and I now look like an idiot for posting this on my blog. Personally though, as someone who has written quite a lot of fiction since I was 11, this moment was more than the shock and the horror. It was beautifully crafted. Bayek didn’t need more of a reason to want these guys dead other than them being the reason that his son was dead. But he still has it. He wants them dead because they are the reason that he took the life of his son. He is the reason that he and his wife have no son anymore. He’s guilty and angry, and he needs to do this not for his son, but for himself. Because he needs to redeem himself in his eyes, and the only way of doing that is by killing all that was present.

And that’s all for today, Gamers! I thought you might like to know that I have played yet another game, and it was impactful (so maybe I should play more games? But Persona 5 is so good…). Let me know your thoughts in the comments, and don’t forget to like for me to do a little happy dance, and follow for more Gaming content! Follow my Instagram to see any changes in my schedule or to see what I’ve posted when. I will see you next time 😊