Gaming Progress: February

Hey, Gamers! Some big things happened this month, and I did not keep track so I am crossing my fingers hoping that I remember everything. This post will mainly focus on Pokemon because… my life has become nothing but Pokemon. But I did play other games too, so I’ll talk about them as well!

First off, Persona. I beat Floor 10 of Tartarus in Persona 3 FES, but the following days were filled with people being sick. As annoying as that mechanic is, I hope they bring it back in Persona 6 because I think it humanises the characters more. I think I’m just struggling because of the PS3 controls, but there’s not much we can do about that unless Atlus remakes the game (which I am doubting at this point). While everyone is sick or tired, I’ve been working on social stats and confidants.
As for my AI-run of Persona 5 Royal, I’m at a standstill. I’m at the awkward part of being in-between palaces. I am trying my best to stock up on items ready for the Okumura boss fight because I genuinely have no idea how I’m going to do that. Usually, I have a good idea about how it’s going to go but I just don’t with Okumura. I know I have Futaba’s palace to get through first, but just the idea of Okumura being there is putting me off.

Now for a quick Witcher book update: I’ve finished Lady of the Lake. That’s the last one of the main series. My mum got me Season of Storms for my birthday, so I’ve been reading that and I’ve decided I’m going to wait until I’ve finished that before playing The Witcher 3 again because I’m going to make a video for our YouTube channel where I tell cool stories about the books when they’re referenced in the games. I don’t think it’ll work as good as a stream so yeah, it’ll be the first video I make as a video so I’m excited! As for Lady of the Lake… it was meh. As expected, it was much more conclusive than the previous books but riddled with inconsistencies and characters acting out of character. It does show some good characterisation and progress, particularly of Ciri.

I think I did a post pretty recently about how Stardew Valley helped me through a really rough patch. I haven’t played it in months because I was constantly on it, but after writing that post, I felt the urge to go on it again. I felt my blood pressure rise almost as soon as it loaded in. Oh my gosh, my farm was so stressful. I had so many animals and plants and a greenhouse and oh my goodness it was so much. So I quit that game, started a new one and it just didn’t feel the same to me. I guess it’s because my life isn’t completely falling apart anymore, but I liked that I was able to go on the game and realise and appreciate that it just isn’t for me right now. I still have so much love for that game, it’s just so much more stressful than I ever realised.

I played Yakuza 3. I’m not having much trouble with it. I did a couple of bosses, a couple of really long cutscenes and now I’m going back to Okinawa. I really do like the Okinawa map, so I’m excited for that (and to see the kids again because they’re super cute).

“He’s clearly guilty… because his name… is Akechi”

Another game that I briefly played was one that I was looking forward to playing and have been for a while: Planet Coaster (console edition). My family and I used to go to theme parks every year when I was growing up (my mum booked a coach and a bunch of people would go and I have the best memories from those times), and when I was a kid, I remember playing games on my mum’s computer where I could build my own park. This game, however, seemed unplayable. I was going through the tutorial to make sure I understood everything, and I couldn’t do something that I was instructed. I went on the sandbox mode and I couldn’t do it there, either. The thing I couldn’t do was building a roller-coaster. You know, the entire point of the game? So the game got swiftly deleted and I am left feeling disappointed.

Animal Crossing time! Again, we’re just trying to get our island to be okay. We are shifting a row of houses back a bit to have a 4 tile wide path to put a bridge in between Ione’s and Kody’s houses. I’ve also made a little plaza area that I can put stuff down on. It’s actually a really cute area and I’m hoping it sticks to the final island. I’ve also decided to get rid of our little flower garden area and spread out our farm area to the two tiers. I haven’t started working on this yet because I want it to be organised and I would really like to have carrots and tomatoes before we start moving everything (I think it’s just the two things that we’re missing). More importantly, though, is that I got Croque’s photo! Finally! It felt so good when he gave it to me, and I think it was after I gave him something not worth very much too, so I was really surprised. I want to work on getting Ione’s photo but I don’t want to give her too much because I love her house as it is! I think I might just have to give her some clothes.

So, for this month, the special game (I try a new game each month for at least 5 hours to try to expand my world) was Jedi: Fallen Order! This was a game Josh got for me either last year or the year before. I was super sick when we got it so I couldn’t play it at the time… and I just never really picked it up again. Until now, that is! I was able to parry more in this game than I ever could in Dark Souls or Bloodborne (or other games you’re meant to parry in). That made me feel… powerful. However, despite the story being good enough to draw me in, the maps, menus and objective layout were just… confusing to me. I get that if I really, really tried, I would probably like this game. But as for right now, I am not in a position where I can put time and effort into understanding the complicated maps and menus. The droid was cute though.

We also got Cyberpunk 2077. I like it. It’s a bit weird for me because I am so used to playing ‘good guys’ rather than… well, mercenaries. I like the familiarity in the HUD and the menu navigation. I didn’t get too far; it’s another game I am streaming and we got it just before Elden Ring and that’s been a priority. With Uni finally coming to a close soon, I’m actually hoping to put it on hold until after I’m done with all my assignments and we sort out a place to live because then I can just spend some time enjoying the game, getting used to the mechanics and everything like that.

Josh played a ton of Yugioh Master Duel in February. Josh has always been super into Yugioh, so it wasn’t surprising at all when he started putting a lot of time and energy into this game. I was actually super excited for him. We used to duel a lot early on in our relationship, and life just gets in the way sometimes and he doesn’t really have anyone else to duel with, so it was nice seeing him being able to duel his way up to Gold Rank 5 (I think… I mean, I do get him to fact check these posts so if it’s in, it’s right) (Josh’s edit: They got it wrong, I got to Gold Rank 3, what a hack). I did start Master Duel on the Switch but Yugioh has just always been Josh’s thing and I can never think about how to build a deck that would be anything close to meta. I don’t think I even got round to making an actual deck, to be honest. Sadly, Yugioh has become one of those things that I always intend on participating in… but life gets in the way. It’s hard to just have one duel with Josh when it’s his favourite thing, so it’s always three or four and he’s usually the one who builds all the decks so I have no chance and it’s demoralising. Maybe when university is over, we’ll have more time to spend dueling. I’d like that a lot.

Okay, so, uh, Pokemon now?

GEN 9 IS COMING!

Okay so before I get too hyped about Gen 9, I should probably explain why. Not only did I finish Pokemon Shining Pearl this month, but I also beat Cynthia first try and I caught Mewtwo in Let’s Go! These were huge accomplishments for me. I always thought ‘catching em all’ was something only die-hard fans did. Now I know it’s something I want to do. Even though saving the world from Team Badguy and defeating the Elite 4 and the campion are the goals of the game, I now think that loving your pokemon and creating a unique bond with them is. Especially when you’re hunting a specific pokemon for a specific role in your team. You have to work so hard for some pokemon that you can’t help but love them…

 I wrote in my bullet journal for January that my gaming highlight was ‘falling in love with Pokemon’ and that is exactly what happened. In February, not only did I continue to love Pokemon but I felt worthy of loving Pokemon. I got into gaming pretty late, and because of that, I tend to stay away from older series because I don’t think I deserve them. It’s different with Pokemon. It’s so different. Like, so a lot of you guys know I love Persona 5, right? But I don’t watch other people’s videos on it, or even watch other people stream it because to me and my autistic brain, they’re doing it wrong. It makes me feel… for lack of a better word, icky. And it’s been like that my whole life with most of my special interests. Oh, you read The Hunger Games? Cool but my theories and opinions are the only ones allowed to exist in my brain so don’t talk to me about the thing, even though I really really like it and would love to talk to you about it. That’s how my brain has always worked. Even at the start with Pokemon, I was so mad at myself for falling in love with it because it’s not meant to be my thing, it’s meant to be Josh’s. But wow our conversations are great and MandJTV is now my favourite YouTube channel and I have a theory that all Squirtles are dyslexic (which technically cannot be disproven) and if someone says they’re not then I’d probably just laugh. It’s taking up so much of my thoughts and my time and my energy… but I’m not bitter or hateful or… protective. I think Josh and I have spoken about this. Like, a lot of my special interests have been there to help me through a lot of trauma (because I’ve been through so much trauma that it seemed neverending), but Pokemon is just there and I am safe and… is this what it feels like to love something so much just because it’s great? Not because you need to, not because it’s who you have to become, not because you need to survive but because it’s so cool and awesome and this is what my childhood should have been full of? I’ve never had this before. I am cherishing every single second of it.

And that’s why I was so excited about Pokemon Presents. It was my first one since getting into Pokemon and feeling so contented with something I love so much. And for the first time, Josh and I get to experience it together. I can’t ask him for tricks or hints or where to go because he’s not going to know either. It’s going to be so different and new but at the same time, it’s going to be the same and safe and I know that I am going to absolutely adore every single second of it. I am 95% sure it’s going to come out like a week or two before my birthday, so I’m hoping that I can use any birthday money I get to get one copy and hopefully we’ll have enough to get Josh the other one. I want Violet, by the way. While purple is Josh’s favourite colour, I think he wants Scarlet because it sounds cooler. I already know I’m picking Quaxly and calling him Josuke.

So on that same day, I started a game that Josh finished this month: Pokemon Sword. It feels a bit weird because my gut is telling me to wait to be able to afford Shield but at the same time, I just want to play more Pokemon. I didn’t get very far because it’s on our big switch and I’ve been using our small one mostly, and our curtains are broken in our room which means there’s a glare on the TV but we need to use the TV because we need to use the big controller because of joycon drift. I actually plan on taking Sword with me when I go on a trip next week, so I’ll be playing it on the small switch (instead of pearl).
Josh did not catch a super cool Rattata in either Pokemon Sword or Legends Arceus, so if you’re as disappointed as I am, let me know in the comments. What he did do is complete Pokemon Sword, and he seemed to like it. I asked him if he liked it more than he liked X or Y because I know that is his least favourite, and he replied “I think I’d like passing a kidney stone more than X and Y” so take that for what you will. But then he said he did like it more than X and Y. He also liked it more than red and blue. He said it’s kinda in the middle. Like, it’s not the best but it’s not as bad as people feel it is. I think he’s just salty because he can’t get his best boi Gliscor.

So, from finishing 2 Pokemon games I can now update you on my favourite Pokemon. As usual, my favourites are in categories. So, my favourite starter is Squirtle, and I have an overall preference for water type starters. My favourite pokemon for symbolic reasons is Eevee because I highly value growth and becoming who you need/ want to be (also, I have DID sooo). My favourite pokemon overall, in terms of usability and you know, my actual likeliness to use it, is Luxray. I like its design and it’s currently the highest level pokemon in my party. In terms of design and like, what a pokemon is based on, I think it’s a tie between Arcanine and Girafarig. My favourite Eeveelution is Espeon, I like the friendship evolution method (controversial opinion, I know) and I think its typing is good.
On the back end of that, my least favourite pokemon is Steelix. I would leave it at that, but there’s more so I specifically hate Steelix’s with sturdy. Similarly, I dislike Onix’s with sturdy. Another pokemon I very much dislike is Lickitung and Lickilicky. I just don’t like tongues. I don’t like Buizel or Floatzel. I don’t know why, I just have a grudge against them and I can’t remember the reason if I’m being completely honest.

I’ve also tried my hand in the Pokemon TCG. I am enjoying it so far. I’m still very new and don’t understand everything, but I’ll get there eventually. It kinda sucks because I downloaded PTCGO and that’s getting shut down soon in favour of PTCGL, which makes me feel like there’s no point trying to start out on the original platform in the first place. Between that and the game always crashing, I think I’m just going to wait a bit longer until the new one comes out everywhere and maybe in the meantime, I’ll just watch some YouTube videos to explain it better.

Josh also finished Legends Arceus this month. I have barely played it because I was meant to be streaming it and it’s a lot for a dyslexic person to read out loud so we’ve decided it’s going to be a video series instead. Josh, however, thinks this game is the best thing to ever happen to Pokemon (or to him, I’m sure), and he loves it so much. He actually caught all of the Pokemon, which is an achievement he has never completed before. He got a shiny Bidoof (funny story- I was actually at uni when this happened and Josh was streaming it. I had the stream on in an extra tab to support him – on silent – and it happened just as my break happened, so I clicked on the tab and saw his reaction and it was super cute). He got a few more shiny pokemon since then. There’s more than this, but the ones he remembers are Ursaring, Stantler, Sliggoo and Vulpix (which he evolved to have a shiny Ninetales). I think the only thing he loves more than Legends Arceus right now is Elden Ring.

Speaking of Elden Ring… it came out. Josh and I preordered it because he loves the previous games by FromSoftware and he was so excited for Elden Ring that he literally went to bed early, woke up at 11:30 pm just so he was ready when it was available at midnight. This game has taken up most of his time since then. He hated the first boss (all his homies hate Margit). He did manage to beat it, though. He also beat Godrick. He’s been streaming Elden Ring, but he’s mainly been playing it off-stream so he could really take in how great the game was.
On a similar note, he played Sekiro in the lead up to Elden Ring. He beat the “punk-ass lil b*tch, Genichiro Ashina” (and he’s playing the game in Japanese purely because Genichiro is voiced by the same person who voiced Seto Kaiba). He’s doing a lot better in Sekiro than he did originally, a few months ago, so it’s nice to see his progress. All that progress has probably gone out of the window because of Elden Ring, though.

So, that’s it for this post, Gamers! I hope you enjoyed this post, it took me a while to write because I keep forgetting to keep track of things and had to rely on my memory and Josh hasn’t said much to me about his gaming opinions this month. Are you excited for Gen 9 and all the future pokemon posts? I am so hyped (for both of those things). Make sure to check out 2nerds_1game on Twitch, where you can find Josh and me streaming pretty often; hit the like button if you liked this post; give this blog a follow for more gaming content like this. See you next post, Gamers!

How to get into Pokemon before Generation 9 arrives (for new players)

Hey, Gamers! So, for those who don’t know, I have recently become interested in Pokemon and Generation 9 has just been revealed. But after talking with some of my family members and remembering how stressful it was whenever Josh used to talk to me about Pokemon, I know the series itself can be a little overwhelming. If you want to get into Pokemon but don’t know where to start, this is the post for you! Let’s Go!

Haha, get it? Let’s Go? Like… like the games? … I thought it was funny.

Before I dig into this post, I want to state that this is going up before my February progress report, and it will have spoilers for that post if anyone wants to wait until Thursday before reading this post… although I guess me just putting this warning is already a spoiler in itself that this month has been Pokemon heavy. Let’s just get into it!

If you want to know my complete and honest opinion, I think the Let’s Go games are a great place to start. There are so many games and so many remakes. The Let’s Go series is basically a remake of Pokemon Yellow, which was a Generation 1 game that came out after the anime which let players have Pikachu as a starter and it included Jessie and James from Team Rocket. Personally, as someone who really got into Pokemon because of the anime, I think this was great at introducing the battle system, the gym system, how parties work, how type advantages work and just Pokemon in general. The first Pokemon game I ever played was Pokemon Go, and thinking about it now, that was really good at introducing me to Pokemon because I was able to recognise certain Pokemon and become familiar with them. Since the Let’s Go games are Generation 1 (I mean, technically they’re Generation 7 but the Pokemon in them are from Gen 1 sooo), it means that there are much fewer Pokemon (151 Pokemon- plus a few extras from Pokemon Go) than the other games and therefore it is much less overwhelming.

Next, I want to talk about Legends Arceus. Josh and I actually had a… heated discussion about where Pokemon was going next because of Legends Arceus, and with Generation 9 being open world, I think he might be right. Legends Arceus introduces so many new and wonderful things that will likely become the new norm for Pokemon. This game just feels completely different from the other Pokemon games, and so many people who had no interest in Pokemon are getting this game and loving it (including someone very special to me, which makes me so happy). This is the game to play if you like exploring, or games like Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

The next option I want to talk about is Pokemon Sword and Shield. My knowledge of these games are very limited as I started playing it yesterday as it’s Josh’s game so it was respectful to wait until he was done with it, but I feel like I know enough to be able to explain why these games might be for you. So, Sword and Shield is the most recent Generation (8), but it does not have all of the Pokedex. It has a very limited Pokedex, which means less Pokemon, which means it might be less overwhelming for those who are worried about catching all 900+ Pokemon. However, from what I’ve played, I think Gen 9 will be a mix between Sword and Shield and Legends Arceus. It’s very similar to the other games in terms of gameplay, but they’ve changed the gym system and the Pokemon league so it’s pretty different.

Next is Pokemon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl. These are remakes of Generation 4, which was my partner’s favourite so we were hyped (… he was hyped, I was annoyed he didn’t get to sleep the night before my birthday). I’m a little biased because I’ve just finished Pearl and I adored every second, but it’s a remake. It’s not too different from the original games, and they’re on the Switch so they’re easier in terms of accessibility. This is much more like the traditional Pokemon experience, but I don’t think that the series will stay here for much longer (unfortunately for me).

There are obviously the original games that you can access in various ways, but in terms of new players, I think I’ve listed the best games and why I think they’d work. Please remember that I’m still new to all this and I’m very excited to explore this series more.

So, that’s it for this post, Gamers! I have a question! If you already play Pokemon, do you pick starters based on their type or on the individual Pokemon? And if you don’t already play Pokemon, do you have a favourite already? Let me know in the comments! Don’t forget to check out 2nerds_1game on Twitch, where Josh and I stream a lot (Pokemon is my thing right now but Josh is playing a ton of Elden Ring!). See you next post, Gamers!

Why Joker’s trauma was left until the last Palace to be tackled

Hey, Gamers! Most of you who read my blog regularly know that Persona 5 is my thing. It’s the game that made me identify as a gamer, it’s my special interest, it’s what I think about most of the time. I love this game, and it makes me so happy to hear about how much you guys love this game too. If you’ve been reading a lot of my blog, you’d probably know that my childhood and early adulthood was something I needed to heal from. I’ve spent most of my life in therapy, but it wasn’t until I met Josh and started to help him through things that I gained the skills I needed to heal myself. Obviously, I was thinking about Persona 5 directly having this revelation and I thought it fit pretty well and it deserved to be talked about. So today’s post is about how Joker needed to help everyone else before he could help himself.

Spoiler warning: I speak about Persona 5 Royal at the end. I don’t say who the third semester ruler is, but I do mention what they did.

We’ve all heard sayings like ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ or ‘you’ve got to look after yourself first’. But here, dear gamers, I put to you the fact that some people do not know how to do this. Some people simply cannot heal without helping others first. I think Joker is one of these people because it would make sense. Let’s look at it in a bit more detail.

He helps Ann and Ryuji within days or even weeks of knowing them. He knew there was some serious trauma behind their feelings and actions. He knew that they needed to do this in order to heal. So he helped them. He helped them because he saw the pain in their eyes; he helped them because he knew how trauma can affect you and he wouldn’t wish that on anyone else; he helped them because he could. He knew how to help them heal, so he did it.

Joker is traumatised from the situation with Shido. From the flashbacks to the repressed memory, all the signs point to the event being traumatising for him. Now he’s in another city, staying in the attic of a coffee shop, whose owner does not like him. He is lost. Not physically, he has a map on his phone, but he knows nothing at this point. Joker has really strong values and great morals but the legal system just told him that being a good person gets you in trouble. And now he can’t even talk to his parents or friends about it, because his school doesn’t want him and his parents are ashamed. He needs to heal from this, but he doesn’t know how to yet.

Throughout Persona 5, we see Joker help so many people. He helps the team to get out of traumatic situations, he then helps them heal from them during their confidant arcs, and even with the other confidants, he is often helping others heal from their own trauma. Despite what a lot of people online seem to believe, Joker isn’t just dealing with the problem for them (for the most part). He’s just making it more manageable. And while doing this time and time again, he’s gaining the knowledge and skills that he needs to heal himself.

That’s why Joker’s trauma is tackled in the last palace (in vanilla Persona 5, but this theory still applies to Royal and we’ll discuss that in a bit). Because he simply wasn’t ready to do it beforehand. Of course, there’s the obvious game mechanics reason too, but story and plot-wise, it makes so much more sense to think about it in this way. I doubt that the team wasn’t encouraging Joker to take down whoever ruined his life (remember, we don’t see everything going on between them). He didn’t have the knowledge or skills to deal with his own trauma before helping others deal with theirs.

Sometimes, you need to help other people to heal before you can heal yourself, and I feel like this is something that is completely looked over in today’s society.

THIRD SEMESTER TALK WARNING

But thinking about the whole system this way means that the third-semester palace makes so much more sense. The reason it’s so upsetting to them is because they put work into healing from their traumas, and that’s how they formed their friendships. It’s how they’ve bonded and it’s such a special thing to have. Healing is so special and non-linear, and if you think about how much effort went into each thief’s journey and how long it took Joker to heal… it ruins everything. It ruins the group. They no longer have that special bonding experience, and – more importantly – all their hard work is gone.

I know this might be obvious to some people because the way it was worded was something like “people need to grow”, but if you directly relate it to trauma and healing, it becomes so much deeper. What the palace ruler did becomes a bad thing instead of a morally grey thing because healing is something that is so fragile and takes so long and just the thought of someone taking that away from me hurts. The main difference between what the third palace ruler did and what the Phantom Thieves did is that the Phantom Thieves use their powers to stop people getting hurt (and traumatised) while it is going on and could still happen; the third palace ruler just removed it from existence completely, almost like he was excusing what the bad guys did and like the work that everyone did to heal was just not worth it.

So, that’s it for this post, Gamers! Please remember that this is just my interpretation of the whole thing, and if yours differs then that’s okay! Let me know your thoughts in the comments below, if you liked this post, give it a like and check out the linked posts below if you want some more Persona 5 stuff. Also, I wanted to remind everyone that I am currently doing an AI Run of Persona 5 Royal and I’ve just finished the third palace so the game will probably speed up a bit so make sure to follow 2nerds_1game on Twitch so you don’t join the party too late. See you next post, Gamers!

10 cute things that my partner does for me whilst gaming that make me feel loved

Hey, Gamers! So today is Valentine’s Day and although Josh and I don’t tend to celebrate it, I thought I should do a post showing the cute things he does for me when playing games that make me feel loved. The point of this post is just to show how little things can be appreciated a lot. So, let’s get into it!

For reference, Josh and I have been together since November 2017. We’ve been living together since January 2018, and living on our own since September 2018. I got into gaming properly around December 2018. He’s really been gaming his whole life, whereas I was much more casual about the whole thing before I met him.

  1. He calls me into the room whenever he’s about to Evolve a Pokemon.
    This is a pretty recent thing, starting around the release of the Sinnoh remakes back in November 2021. I always thought Evolution was cool and sometimes I judge the Pokemon based on whether or not it became more or less cute. That’s how it started. Then we watched the anime (he got me an anime poster for my birthday and the original Pokemon series was on it), and then Christmas came and he got me Let’s Go Eevee and now I just really appreciate the growth of each Pokemon, even if they’re not mine.
  2. He warns me if he knows a part of a game will be triggering for me.
    I’m aware that this one is a bit unique to our relationship, but I have C-PTSD and throughout our relationship, Josh has learnt my triggers and for the most part, he is a really good judge at understanding whether or not something will trigger me. Oftentimes, before I start playing a game that he’s already played and he thinks I might get to the triggering scene in this session, he watches me play and we have a light conversation about my mental health and stuff like that. It’s never too deep. I think we’ve been together long enough that talks like this have become the norm, which is why it feels okay to have them while we play games. I specifically remember one time, I was playing Yakuza 0 and a character was touching a girl inappropriately. As a SA survivor, that would have triggered me if Josh didn’t warn me the chapter before. He said something along the lines of “hey babe, I know you’re having a lot of fun right now and it’s really intense, but I wanted to warn you about some upcoming sexual encounters so that if you need to, you can stop and save before you get there” and I just remember appreciating it so much because I was having a tough day and if it was a shock, it would have triggered me massively. Alternatively, I wanted to share an experience where he missed the mark a bit, and that’s with Persona 5 Strikers. Persona 5 Strikers is about trauma, so I tried not to ask Josh about it because I can tell when he knows spoilers and then I want to know… but I knew he looked things up because the game is literally about trauma and I am riddled with it. I was abused as a kid by a father figure, so the last jail’s trauma hit me- I mean, I was streaming but it was instant flashbacks. It was awful. I felt like that was something Josh should’ve warned me about (because I’m so used to him warning me about stuff like that), and so did he. He misread or misinterpreted what he had read and thought that the bad guy had accidentally killed his son. We were both very confused.  But I wanted to share this because we both felt bad about that situation, but at the end of the day, I still felt loved because he was there by my side when the flashbacks were coming hard and he held me as I cried. I know he shouldn’t have to do all this, and believe me, my ex purposely put me in situations where I’d get triggered because he thought it was funny, but the fact that he goes out of his way to do this with most games that I play makes me feel so loved and appreciated.
  3. He calls me in whenever he gets an Eevee.
    Leading on from talking about trauma, I have DID. To me and my system, Eevee is a great representation of that. Eevee was my favourite Pokemon long before I started playing Pokemon. But now that I have started playing Pokemon, my love for Eevee as a symbol has been carved into stone, so to speak. Josh plays a significant amount more Pokemon than I do (I have more household responsibilities so he gets to game more in general), and he’s in post-game in both BD and Legends, so he’s able to get as many Eevees as he wants… and whenever he does, he shows me. He literally calls me in from wherever and shows me. Sometimes he even has to wait until I get home, which is even cuter and makes me feel more loved because it’s been hours since he caught it and he still remembered to show me.
  4. He encourages me to do things my own way.
    Before I met Josh, I thought looking up guides online was classed as cheating. The first guide I actually ever looked up was for my second playthrough of Persona 5 and I couldn’t put myself through Okumura’s palace again. It was this one particular bit that literally made me cry during my first playthrough, and it was the worst. During my second playthrough, I was trying to come up with solutions. After he suggested a guide, I went for it. Another thing that’s on a similar note and the same game is Kaneshiro’s palace. The codes are actually probably my favourite palace thing in the whole game, but I am both dyslexic and dyscalculic. Therefore, when playing Persona 5 Royal for the first time, Josh encouraged me to come up with solutions. He offered me some paper and I wrote each clue down, drew a bunch of lines and it suddenly became a lot easier for me. As someone as disabled as I am, I know realistically that games will never be fully accessible to me. That’s okay, because Josh helps me learn that I can do it in a different way.
  5. He never lets me give up.
    There are very few times when I’ve given the controller to Josh in my game and made him do it. Actually, there are two times and they were both Yakuza games. One was the car chase in Kiwami because I was late to streaming and I was getting stressed out. The other was a chase scene in Yakuza 3, and after watching him doing it I realised that I was robbed because I was literally two steps away before Kiryu ran out of stamina. These times are so rare because we’re both stubborn. He doesn’t like seeing me upset, but oftentimes, Josh knows my own ability more than I do. Take the last fight of A Plague Tale: Innocence, for example. I struggled so hard with that, and I knew that I couldn’t react faster. Instead of just taking the controller, Josh sat next to me to calm me down. He talked to me several times about trying again. When he found out that I had tried again the next day (he was sleeping), he was so proud of me. We went on a date and over our meal, he was just encouraging me, talking strategy with me, talking the whole thing through with me. I think the only two games he’s ever let me give up on is Hitman (because it’s apparently painful to watch me play it) and Deathloop (but even with Deathloop, he still tries to encourage me). It’s the warmest feeling ever. He’s the most encouraging person I’ve ever met and he never lets me think I can’t do something (apart from playing Hitman… I think I’m banned from playing Hitman around him…).
  6. He gave me an Eevee.
    Another Pokemon one because I swear it’s all we’ve played recently. I didn’t want to evolve my Piplup until Lvl 50, so for the longest time, I was mashing B. For reference, I play Shining Pearl and he plays Brilliant Diamond. So he said “catch a random Pokemon and I’ll trade a random Pokemon with you, and I’ll make it hold an Ever Stone so you can give it to Pippy”, so that’s what happened. I traded my Magikarp that I affectionately named James, and he traded me A LITERAL EEVEE. And then, bless him, he goes “oh no! I forgot to give it a nickname,” and he was super sad about it for a while. But it’s fine because I hatched an Eevee and called it Geralt and I’m going to use Josh’s Eevee to make an Umbreon (I really hope he doesn’t read this post because I’ve convinced him that I’m turning it into an Espeon because that’s my favourite, but Umbreon is his favourite and he gave me the Eevee so I thought it would be cute).
  7. He warns me about any tarantulas in his pockets.
    This was one conversation but what a ride it was. I was trying to get as much candy as possible for Halloween in Animal Crossing, so he said I could go on his account to get some. Then he warned me about the tarantula in his pockets… I’ll link the post because- I cannot word.
    https://eleanorreesgaming.com/2021/12/27/weird-conversations-ive-had-with-my-fiance-about-gaming/
  8. He doesn’t mock me for using dubs.
    I use the dubs in all games because I am dyslexic. Before we met, Josh was very much the type of person to mock someone for watching the dub. He even does to some people. Yet, he doesn’t with me. It’s like we have a mutual understanding and I feel like, because of the whole me being dyslexic thing, he gets to appreciate how great the English VA can be sometimes. Persona 5 was the first game I had this ‘issue’ with, and it was so sweet he just didn’t say anything because it was just after I got diagnosed and I was a hot mess over that. Another thing I wanted to add (but doesn’t fit anywhere else) is that he is so encouraging with my reading. I loved the Witcher story so he bought me the books, even though I had major anxiety about reading at the time. He never lets me think for a second that I can’t do it.
  9. He never tells me ‘it’s just a game’.
    Josh and I are both autistic, both diagnosed as adults. My whole life, I’ve been deeply engrossed in fiction. I think as a kid riddled with trauma, I used it as a way of escaping the current world and on top of my autistic traits, I’d always come across as obsessed. This is the one thing about me that I know that Josh absolutely adores. From The 100, to Harry Potter, to Yugioh and The Witcher and obviously Persona 5, he’s been nothing but encouraging with my love for these things. As a female with autism, I am overly empathetic and because of that, I get so emotional. If I had a penny for every time someone told me something along the lines of “it’s not even real”, I would probably be a billionaire. Instead, he comforts me when my favourite character dies. Hell, he knows that my favourite character is going to die and he is ready for it. My immediate thought with this is literally the other night and I was reading the Witcher (I’m on Lady of the Lake) and my favourite character died. It wasn’t explicit that she was dead yet but a flashback to her childhood happened just after she was injured and I nearly threw my book. He almost immediately knew what was going on. And he is the first person to not roll their eyes at me. Even when we’re arguing about our interpretations of Persona 5 (because this game means so much to me), he has never said “this doesn’t matter, it’s not even real”. Instead, he’s usually pretty calm and I feel like we’ve gotten good at being like “okay, we can never know for sure and we’re clearly not going to agree”. I think something I love about us is when we acknowledge that while the thing we are talking about is still important, our relationship is more important and Josh is usually the first to acknowledge that.
  10. He understands what I value and avoids doing it.
    This one is going to make me sound bad but I don’t even care. Before we get into it, I know full well that he shouldn’t have to do this, and I want to make it clear that I have only ever asked him to do this once and it was for Persona 5 Royal because that game was everything to me. Josh has been gaming for so much longer than I. Therefore, his skills are so much better than mine. If he knows that I really value a game (for example, the Life Is Strange series), he will avoid playing them. I mean, for the most part, he doesn’t care about the game because we usually like different types of games, but in the case of Persona 5 Royal, I jokingly asked him to not get passed the point I was at because I can usually tell when he knows a spoiler (like right now, there’s clearly something with Volo from Legends Arceus but I’m not there yet and he is dying to talk to me about it), and he was like “yeah, I was going to try to not go past you anyway”. A sucky result of this is that he still hasn’t finished Persona 5 Royal because he had to stop in Okumura’s palace and… no one wants to do that. But I love that he recognises that we value different things and that even though he could very easily plat these games, he doesn’t… it makes me feel respected and like he recognises my hard work.

So, that’s it for this post, Gamers! I just wanted to share this because he does so many little things that make me feel loved, and I wanted to share that it really doesn’t take much to make someone happy. If you want to catch us streaming, head over to Twitch and look for 2nerds_1game (it should also be linked on my homepage), where we stream Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I hope you all have a lovely Valentine’s Day, no matter how you’re spending it. See you next post, Gamers!

How the simplicity of Stardew Valley helped me through a rough time

Hey, Gamers! This is actually the second time I’m writing this post. The first one felt more… trauma dumping and I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was minimising their efforts by talking about myself. So, I’m writing this again because I feel like it’s a really important post, and I was just coming at it from the wrong angle.

Last year, I had a ton going on. On top of university, a family member went through some unexpected medical stuff and it was really hard for the whole family. We actually got Stardew Valley at the beginning of April, if I’m remembering correctly, and I was a bit hesitant because I usually get frustrated with games that don’t give the player much direction. But it helped me, somehow.

At this point, in February 2022, I have not been on Stardew Valley for months. I plan on doing a post about burnout in gaming very soon (this month), but after 180 hours in less than a month, I was just done with the game for a while.

I was on seemingly endless phone calls with family, I really struggled to sleep and even if I did manage to sleep, it was for two to three hours at a time because I needed to work on my dissertation. It was difficult. It was like my brain just wouldn’t shut off.

And that’s when Stardew Valley came in. The simplicity of the game meant that during the times I couldn’t sleep, at least I could give my brain a break by playing it for 10-30 minutes. It’s what I needed the most. I was stuck in such a stressful situation that I couldn’t get out of without avoiding complete responsibility, so Stardew Valley was the best part of my day.

I remember one point, I was in a lot of pain because my face swole a bunch and it was all I could think about because I’m autistic and I couldn’t cope. Playing Stardew Valley was the only time where the tears stopped. And I’ve never had a game that I could just play for a small amount at a time while still being able to distract me from what’s going on.

The simplicity of the gameplay and the scenes with each person in town kept me wanting to play the game over and over again. I really rushed to get married and have kids because I think at this point I was going through a “having a baby will solve all my problems” phase again, so being able to have kids in this game and forming relationships was a huge deal for me. I got with Josh when I was 17, just about to turn 18. I never really thought much about forming new relationships with other people because he’s my best friend. Whenever I try to make friends in real life, it goes wrong (as I know many other autistics experience). I remember just before I got diagnosed, Josh and I were discussing why it was so important to the both of us that I got this diagnosis or at least signposted to the right one, and Josh said “I can’t keep seeing you in pain over something that isn’t your fault. I can’t keep watching you try so hard, only to crash and burn when they don’t like you as much as we thought they did”. Josh’s main thing was always how much I got hurt by the rejection of failed friendships. Now, I have Josh and one other friend that I try to reply to regularly, and I am okay with that. I don’t think I could cope with more, to be honest, I’m not good at replying. But in Stardew Valley, time stops when you don’t play. They don’t get super mad when you don’t talk to them for a few days. They don’t have better friends that they’d prefer to spend their time with. As selfish as that sounds, I think it’s what I needed.

I think the repetition of the game is also something that was such a huge thing for me during this time of chaos. Breaking down the year into the four seasons and just having the same events each year… would usually bore me. I’d probably play 2 years and be done with it. But it was 100% what I needed. I mean that in all sincerity because as stupid as it sounds, a year is very long. Anything can happen in a year. So much can change and the fact that it didn’t just made me feel… peaceful.

This game gave me peace of mind when I was in a pit of utter chaos.

So, that’s it for this post, Gamers! Do you have a game that helped you in a similar way? Let me know in the comments below! Don’t forget to check out my socials and Twitch, all of which should be linked on my homepage. See you next post, Gamers!

Gaming Progress: January

Hey, Gamers! This is the first gaming progress report for 2022, and it is probably my favourite. I’ve almost consistently kept up with keeping note of my gaming as it happens, and I’ve done a lot of it. January is a month riddled with bad trauma dates so, this year more so than any previous one, I threw myself into gaming for escapism. Uh, if you’re like me then maybe try therapy first. It hasn’t worked out for me, so I turn to gaming. But anyway, much to talk about, let’s go!

Jumping straight on to… not gaming- the end of Tower of the Swallow was magnificent. If you’re new here, I’m dyslexic but loved the Witcher characters so much that I’ve been reading the books and since I played the game (wild hunt) first, a few people like reading updates. For a large portion of the book, I was not having a good time. It dragged so much. My favourite character in Geralt’s company just seemed to stop talking (it’s Milva, I love her with all my heart), Yen was barely in it and whilst Ciri is my favourite character overall… she wasn’t herself, I felt. But the ending- chef’s kiss. Such a beautiful ending. I felt the same way with the last book, too. Like, the endings have just been really great. I literally was holding my breath at several points because it was so intense. If the book was just the ending, and the part where the Rats got killed, I would’ve liked it. I’m on Lady of the Lake now, and I am uncomfortable about the sexualisation of minors but apparently that’s something I have to get used to if I like fantasy. Eredin has shown up, and it is interesting, to say the least…

Moving quickly on, let’s talk about Life Is Strange: True Colors. Why? Because I’m an idiot, that’s why. I thought I might as well get the plat, it’ll be easy since I can just skip scenes and stuff. Oh boy. I saved over my completed save. I literally saved over my completed save. I am still very angry about this. I don’t even know why I did this. Maybe it is because I’m used to New Game +, but even then… it’s worse because the cutscenes are unskippable and now that I don’t have a completed save, I can’t jump scenes. I’m not too mad; it’s just going to take more time than I have right now, and that’s okay, it can be an after Uni problem.

As for Yakuza 3, I haven’t played as much of it as I would’ve liked because I’ve been more focussed on… a game that will come up later… but I got to the part where Rikiya is in Kamarocho and he got his tattoo done by Kiryu’s artist. It was really nice going around with Rikiya. I am worried that he might die because I don’t think I’ve heard Josh talk about him outside of the context of Yakuza 3, but Sayama isn’t in games other than 2 and she’s perfectly fine, so I’m not too worried. I wasn’t as upset at Kashiwagi dying as I thought I would be, because I was too busy being angry. I was all good with this game until they introduced chase/ running sequences. I must have done this at least 10 times. I was literally in tears because of how angry and frustrated I was.

Moving on because otherwise, I’ll end up in a rant about those sequences and how they shouldn’t be compulsory, Josh finished all of the gauntlet missions in Lost Judgment, including the Amon DLC. He was very proud of himself, and I was proud of him too. It was a big deal for him because in the past, Amon had taken him days to beat but he did it this time without even telling me he was doing it. We also got Judgment on the PS5, but he’s sad because they’ve taken out… a machine. He’s actually streaming the PS5 version of Judgment every Wednesday if you want to check it out.

First big accomplishment: the return of my Persona 5 Royal AI Takeover brought an immediate (first try) victory against Kaneshiro. First try. This was the first boss I have managed to defeat first try throughout my AI Takeover, and after how much I struggled with Madarame, I think I needed this win. I was a bit worried about this boss fight because I felt like I needed my team, but my team pulled through and I was so shocked and happy.

To quickly tag on from Persona 5, I played a bit of Shin Megami Tensei V. I was mainly just grinding and doing some side quests. I am enjoying it overall, I just get frustrated because my right joycon is drifting.

So I feel like I’ve cheated a bit for this one, but my ‘new’ game this month was Persona 3 FES. I’ve tried playing Persona 3 multiple times, and I got FES when the PlayStation 3 store was meant to be closing but it’s a game that I’ve always put off or barely played. I think I had like 2 hours in, so I just continued the save and I don’t think I’ve ever been so wrong. I love this game now. I have so much appreciation for it, and I really hope it gets a remaster. I can’t wait to play more (if Yukari lets me go to Tartarus because she has been sick for like two days straight… not sick enough to not go on her phone through). I am really loving it and it makes me so happy that I finally understand why everyone loves this game so much.

Let’s talk Animal Crossing! I spent so long trying to get rid of Ken, guys. Like, literal hours of time travelling. Then, one of my alters goes on (the island representative), there’s a villager in the campsite that she approves of, bang! Ken is no longer hindering our island’s love. Our new villager is Kody and I like him because I think he and Teddy would be really cute friends. I am still gifting Croque something every day, only for him to give me a relay tank or a “thanks, kid”. I just want his photo. He’s literally my best friend in that game and two people have already given me their photos. Does he actually not like me? Like, what’s going on, Bestie?

Fang likes me so much he’s given me his photo twice!

Time for all things Pokemon (and yes, there are several things…). Remember me mentioning that I was focused on a Switch game? Yeah, it was Pokemon!
In Let’s Go Eevee, I tried to catch MewTwo but oh my poor babies couldn’t cope. Dugtrio was a real trooper and lasted the longest by at least a few turns but it pains me so much when Geralt faints. It hurts my heart. I know I can just revive him or take him to the Pokemon Centre but I feel like he feels like I could’ve done something to save him when this time I could not. It really upsets me. But because of this, I did a bunch of painful grinding. Josh said it was harder to grind in these games compared to the other, which makes me feel a bit better because I’m doing a decent job at grinding in Let’s Go so I feel like I’d do way better in an actual Pokemon game. The thought of grinding is something that’s always put me off Pokemon in particular. But I was grinding Victory Lane (I think that’s what it’s called) and I went into the Elite 4 building and I was like “oh, I wonder if I get any cool dialogue now that I’ve beaten them” so I went into the room and I was locked into fighting the Elite 4 all over again without any preparation what so ever. I mean, I did it. Really don’t know how I did it, it was close a couple of times. Only one of my Pokemon survived the ghost battle, and that was because Blastoise loves me so much. It was extra tough because I didn’t have many potions, super potions or hyper potions. But I did it, and I guess that’s all that matters now. I am currently going around all the gyms again to beat them in order to get some exp.
Speaking of other Pokemon games, we got Pokemon Shining Pearl! Why? Because even though Josh had Diamond, I really wanted my own Pokemon game. Now we can play together (we got a Switch Lite as well) and trade and everything. My starter is a Piplup called Pippy and he likes bitter food. He has won some cuteness contests and now he won’t eat anymore Poffins. I have 4 gym badges. I struggled the most with the 3rd due to Lucario being awful and barely giving my team a chance to breathe. I am enjoying this game so much. Like, a ridiculous amount. Josh is still trying to catch em all in Brilliant Diamond. I helped him by doing the trading evolution things for a few of them.
In Pokemon Sword, Josh got 5 gym badges this month (which brings him to a total of 5). Most of his gameplay was during January on account of me playing Let’s Go Eevee from Christmas Day to the 30th of December, giving him one day in December to play. He got a bit distracted, though…
Because we also got Legends Arceus this month. This is the first Pokemon game that I got the day it came out, so I was hyped. However, I am streaming it and the first stream on the first day it came out did not go well. It actually had to be 3 separate streams, our internet did not want to work at all. So, I’m trying to get through it but I can only play it on stream now (which we’ve now decided that I will be streaming it twice a week). Josh, however, is not restricted by this (I’m starting to think that this is the reason who wanted me to be the one to stream it), and has been enjoying it a ton. As I’m writing this in February, I’m struggling to differentiate how far he got while January was still on, but he really has been playing it a lot. He told me that I could get all the Eeveelutions which is super cool, because so far the only games I’ve played do not include my favourite Eeveelution (feel free to guess which is my favourite in the comments) so I’m excited. I think this game is one of (if not his favourite) Pokemon games.

Reminder: My Geralt is the cutest and I love him so much

A quick side note before the big reveal: I started playing Roblox this month. “El, you’re 22, why are you playing Roblox?” I hear you ask. Family, that’s why. I have a niece and two nephews who I adore with all of my heart. My niece wanted me to play Roblox, and I was like ‘hey, it’s a game, how bad can it be?’ and I am bloody awful at it but we have so much fun together. I don’t talk about them a lot here because we live so far away from each other that it’s hard to keep in contact and kids grow up so fast, but it’s just so nice to have a way of connecting with them that we can all appreciate. I remember hating it as a kid when I was made to stand there and talk to grown-ups who barely knew me, so I hope that they know that I want to know them and that I’m willing to change the way we do things for them to be happy and comfortable. I love all three of them so much and this whole experience has made me feel so much closer to them.

Okay, drum roll!
I did it. I beat A Plague Tale: Innocence. I did it.
For anyone that’s new, I was really struggling with a boss fight – the last boss fight – because my reflexes were just too slow. I just couldn’t do it and then I was getting so frustrated and upset because I felt like there was nothing I could do. I have several disabilities and I felt like it was because of those that I couldn’t finish this game, which is something no one should feel, especially when you’re 30+ hours into the game. But after taking a break, having a lovely day out where Josh and I talked about it a little, I came back and I did it. I think it was the first try, too. It just happened. I honestly didn’t realise how close I was to finishing the fight in all of my attempts, because I was literally like one hit away for most of my attempts. But I did it and now I’m happy.

So, that’s it for this post, Gamers! Did you do anything special during January? Let me know in the comments below! Don’t forget to check out my socials to stay updated and check out 2nerds_1game on Twitch to watch Josh and I stream games. See you next post! 

Does Time Travelling ruin Animal Crossing?

Hey, Gamers! So, uh, you all know that I’m not the smartest person. So we avoided Time Travelling in Animal Crossing for the longest time. It actually wasn’t until… November, I think, that we started Time Travelling, and we got it in January. I was so scared of messing things up, or corrupting my game file or making my villagers mad at me. There were so many worries, so here I am, ready to tell you that there’s nothing to worry about in the best way I can: by explaining it the way it makes sense to me. So, let’s go!
AC will be occasionally used for Animal Crossing and TT will be used for Time Travelling.

Animal Crossing only moves forward. If a tree is planted and you TT back to the day before you planted the tree, the tree is still going to be planted. If a villager moves in and you TT to the day before, they’ll still be there! It will always continue to move forward, focussing on progression rather than deletion. I think the only downside to this is in the older games when villagers would move out without your consent, they’ll be gone no matter what (although people will probably also find other issues, too).

Time Travelling is a completely valid way to play AC, especially ACNH. In a Washington Post article from 2020, the current directors of AC have stated that it’s not cheating. They purposely made the game so that if you wanted to TT, there’s very limited consequences. The only issue I can think of is your turnips may rot. Josh and I may have come up with a solution to that but uh, we’ll test before we tell it. To me, this consequence isn’t big at all. I barely get up before 12 pm to get the turnips in the first place, but when I do it just causes so much stress for me. Of course, if turnips are your thing then you do you, but for me it’s meh. I can live with no/ rotten turnips in exchange for fast stuff.

So what can TT help? Say, for example, when you started your island you had no idea about anything. Just randomly put houses wherever and now you’re living on a scattered island and you don’t know how everyone else’s islands are so great when you can’t do anything with yours because there are houses everywhere. I’ve been there. Save all the bells you can. Then, slowly, move the houses one by one so you have a little village or whatever you want. TT means that you can do this all in one day! Granted, it still takes a while to individually move each house but it’s so much better than waiting the full day just to move on with another one. Then when you’re done, you can just reset the time by turning the sync thing back on and bob’s your teapot, you’ve just potentially unlocked so much for your island! TT is great for just redoing your island in general. Things take so long to move and you just don’t want to wait that long when creativity strikes!

Another way TT can help is when you want a new villager to move in via amiibos. I did this with Ione. If you didn’t know, you can get amiibos of (I think) any AC character and if they’re a villager, they can come to stay at your campsite. It takes three visits for them to move in, which would mean working on this for 3 separate days if it wasn’t for TT. I did it within an hour because I was super excited and the lot had been empty for a few days so I was worried it would fill up soon. TT makes this so much easier! It saves a lot of stress if you want a particular villager and you have an empty lot ready. It can also help with getting rid of villagers but uh I tried this for a solid hour but Ken wouldn’t budge.

I’m not saying that I’m an expert on this (I would never). That isn’t the point of this post. I’m just here to say… Time Travelling isn’t bad. It’s not a moral thing. You’re not cheating. It’s okay. You’re not going to ruin your game by Time Travelling if you’re getting frustrated, tired or impatient. Play this game your own way, that’s how you’ll get the most out of it. I was afraid and anxious too, but it was okay in the end and we got so much done (island tour coming fairly soon).

So, that’s it for this post, Gamers! I just feel like there are so many games that have strict rules and sometimes you automatically follow them in other games that don’t have those rules. With this post, I hope to have alleviated someone’s anxieties about Time Travelling. Of course, to a lot of people, it is just a game, but sometimes when you get emotionally attached to games it’s so much more than that and it’s just nice for people to tell you that things are okay without pushing the thing on you. So, see you in the next post, Gamers!

This is the article that I referenced:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/video-games/2020/03/23/nintendo-explains-philosophy-behind-animal-crossings-big-changes-like-gender-expression-terraforming/

Gaming Progress: December

Hey, Gamers! December, for most people, is the holiday season… although a season is meant to be 3(ish) months so uh, let’s ignore that. But for me, it was a month of sickness. A month of headaches, feeling sick every day, and stress. So, a little background: Christmas brings a ton of stress on me. For those who don’t already know, my parents split up when I was 8 and me and my mother moved to a different country. Before that, Christmas was perfect. I have to older sisters, and I just- all of my Christmas memories as a child were just this image of perfection. My parents’ marriage obviously wasn’t great (it never was) so having this one day when they wouldn’t argue or be mean to each other, and my sisters would act like kids again (they were ten/ eleven years older than me so it was just special). Finding out that Josh didn’t have that didn’t shock me, but it did upset me. So, I try my very best each year to make his Christmas as perfect as it was when I was a kid. It’s for completely selfish reasons and I’ve learnt to be okay with that. But my body can’t seem to keep up with that so I’m almost always sick in December. Wow that was a long explanation. My point is, I didn’t get a lot of gaming done. I don’t think we streamed at all in December because I was so sick. That means no Brilliant Diamond, no Persona 5 Royal AI Takeover and no, uh, whatever Josh does on his one allowed day (jokes, it’s usually Skyrim or SoulsBorne). So, let’s get into what we did get up to!

In Yakuza 3, I’ve had the chance to actually do a lot of side content that Josh usually rushes me to ignore (it’s his favourite series and he just wants me to play it all so he can talk to me about the plot, please know that he’s not doing it maliciously, he’s just excited). I love Okinawa, even though I’m not as familiar with it as I am with the Kamurocho map. I’ve noticed more in this game than the previous 2 (ignoring 0 due to the absence of this character) that Haruka is scary mature. She reminds me a lot of myself as a child who has gone through trauma. The thing that bugs me the most is the amount of responsibility that Kiryu puts on her. Like, I know she probably wants that but Kiryu has the responsibility as her guardian to make sure she has a childhood and she’s not really getting that. I feel like a lot of the adult responsibilities of the orphanage get placed on Haruka’s shoulders and that really isn’t fair. She’s still a kid. I’m trying to look at it from a not-traumatised-child perspective but it’s still the same. She’s still a kid. She shouldn’t be the one going to get groceries all the time, she shouldn’t be the one cooking for all the kids every day. Kiryu took on the role of guardian for these children, so he should be doing those things. I’m not saying that the kids shouldn’t help, but they shouldn’t have that much responsibility placed on them. They should help, not do. This should be obvious but I beat Majima. I went into the fight before buying healing items because I am a certified idiot, apparently. But I did it. Honestly, I was fully expecting to not get on with this game at all. I think it’s a common thing with autistic people to get frustrated easily (as shown later on), so I was expecting the blocking to be too much but I’m enjoying it. It doesn’t feel different enough from Yakuza Kiwami 2 for me to hate it.

Okay, moving on to the main thing for Josh- he got Lost Judgment on the PS5 for Christmas because I’m the best fiancée in the world. He’s played all of it. I think from what he’s told me, it’s his favourite game of the series. Okay, so now I’ve pulled up the list that we collectively wrote, I can say with certainty that Josh thinks that the combat is the best in the Yakuza series so far (I strongly disagree after trying it for a whole 30 seconds and deciding I hate it), but in comparison to Judgment, there seems to be less to do in terms of mini-games. He’s still sad that there’s no karaoke (for those who know Josh, you’ll know it’s his favourite thing. He woke me up at 3 am once because he got 100 in Judgement), but the dancing mini-game is “a satisfactory replacement”… but he would still rather have karaoke. I hate them both, naturally, because I’m terrible at both of them. The boxing mini-game is fun, and so is skateboarding… but he hates the robotics mini-game. With a passion. So much.

He’s played a lot of Days Gone in December. He actually started it again, because he stopped playing it when someone who worked on it was like all “if you want a sequel, pay full price” in a rude way. He’s had a lot of fun with it but it drags too much for him. He has at least 30 hours in this playthrough and doesn’t even feel close to being done. The gameplay got repetitive. He didn’t tell me to put this but he kept getting stuck in bear traps and that was hilarious. I think he rage quit one time because of that. It was funny.

Animal Crossing time! My DS ran out so this will only be New Horizons (remember the whole certified idiot thing?). We did a bunch of time travelling. We were trying to make everything perfect for Toy Day but we didn’t realise that Toy Day was on the 24th so we messed up. Ken also moved in. Without permission. We’re trying everything to get him to move out.

I also played a lot of A Plague Tale: Innocence this month since Josh was trying to ‘catch em all’ in Pokemon Brilliant Diamond (yes, that’s your BD update), so I got from trying to get into the library to the fight with the leader of the Inquisition. I got through quite a bit. I am really enjoying the story but I am struggling so, so much with the gameplay. I don’t want to be like “iT’s iNAcceSsiBlE” or anything, and I’ve been struggling with how to word this and if this is the case or am I just bad at the game… but I think something has to be said when I’m not “learning”. I’ve probably tried this boss fight over 10 times. Now, I’ve played a good chunk of Dark Souls. I know hard games, I’m decent at it. I learn. I am able to learn from my mistakes with gaming. What I’m not able to do is change my reaction time. It makes me emotional a little bit because it’s moments like these where I think I just can’t do it, and it is because of my disabilities. It’s not something I can learn this time. I can’t just get good at it, and that sucks. I’m playing it over and over again because I still hope that I’m wrong. And I know there are a million other games for me to play that I can play, but I’ve played this one so far that it would feel like a loss if I just gave up now. The gameplay has always been challenging to me. I’m not the best at sneaking or timing etc. But I did it. So the fact that there might be just this huge block just… sucks. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do it. Heck, there’s been times where I’ve thought to just ask Josh to do it because although he’s autistic like me, he’s not dyslexic or dyscalculic so maybe he could do it. But that just feels wrong to me. The only time Josh has ever ‘done’ a fight for me is the car chase in Yakuza Kiwami because I was crying and I was late to stream and I just wanted it to be over with. Everything about that just feels wrong. So, I might do it. I still have some kind of hope left. If I don’t do it by next month, I think I’ll just have to admit that it’s not for me and move on.

This makes me feel better about my failure.

Something that I did manage to advance in is Shin Megami Tensei V. I finally got to Tokyo Tower! I feel like I’m understanding the whole fusion system more, as well as demon negotiations. I am needing to grind a lot more than I expected, but that’s okay. I like taking it slow, but at the same time, my memory isn’t great. I think I might do another playthrough after completing my first one, just to do it better and understand the plot better. I remember sharing a screenshot to Twitter and it said something like “I have no idea what I just saw” and I was like ‘yeah, same, bro’. It was like the game was breaking the fourth wall a little (not really but thinking about it like that is funny).

So, Josh got me an anime poster for my birthday in November. I can scratch off an anime when I’ve watched it, it’s super fun. But because of that, we’ve been watching Pokemon. And now I’m obsessed with Pokemon (specifically Squirtle). So for Christmas, Josh got me Let’s Go, Eevee. Eevee is a special Pokemon to me because I have DID and I feel like that’s a good representation. I named my Eevee Geralt because I’ve been reading the Witcher books (I usually write about that but honestly, I don’t want to right now… I’ll do a story on Instagram or something) and I love my Geralt, he’s so cute. I loved being able to stroke him and *flappy hands*. The whole game just made me very happy. Yes, you read that right. The whole game. I got this game on the 25th and I completed it on either the 30th or the 31st. I am officially the champion of the Kanto region, and Josh can’t fight me because he hasn’t finished Let’s Go, Pikachu that I bought him like three years ago. Through this, I’ve come to the realisation that I think I prefer water type starters… that’s crazy because I was so aggressively fire starter sure because of Josh. When I started BD, I picked the fire starter. I’ve been thinking of starting over but at the end of the day, there are only 2 fire types in the game so uh I’m fine with that. If we get SP though, I’ll probably pick Piplup. So yeah, my first completed Pokemon game was Let’s Go, Eevee and I’m okay with that (I think). For extra content, when I was a kid, I had a neighbour called David. He would threaten to put me in the bin a lot. So you guys can maybe understand the absolute pleasure I had taking the title of champion away from my rival, David. Like, it was pure joy. Like, chef’s kiss. Also, like, they said it was the boy who lived next door to me so what else was I supposed to put? Another reason I was thinking of restarting BD is because I named my rival Josh and I feel kinda bad and… off whenever I beat him. Like, my Josh doesn’t take losing that easily so it rarely happens. It feels unrealistic.

Lastly, after me hogging the Switch since Christmas, after I beat David, I finally let Josh play Pokemon Sword that he got off of his lovely mum for Christmas. I did feel a little bad but he was pretty occupied with Lost Judgment so it’s not too bad. According to the list, he only had like 2 days in December to play it and he hadn’t reached the first gym. He was on his way to a place called “Motosoke”. He picked the fire starter, as always. He’s actually giving nicknames to his pokemon which is weird for him but also cute (he’s named a lot after alters of mine, and then he has some punny names too). He seems to be enjoying it so far!

And that’s it for this post, Gamers! I hope you all had a wonderful “holiday season” and I hope 2022 is even better for you! What did you get up to in December? Let me know in the comments! Don’t forget to give this post a ‘like’, hit follow for more chill gaming content and check out 2nerds_1game on Twitch to eventually watch Josh and I stream again! See you next post, Gamers!

My Gaming Goals for 2022

Hey, Gamers! Happy New Year! I hope everyone managed to stay safe this holidays, and I hope you all had a good time spending whatever time you could with loved ones. I wanted to start this New Year off with a list of goals that I wish to achieve in 2022. Goals surrounding gaming, obviously. I’m usually the type of person to set myself a crazy amount of goals that are completely unattainable, but this year, it’s different. I feel like I actually reached my non-gaming goal last year, so I’m trying my best to keep having realistic goals and expectations. With University finishing for me this year, I’m hoping to have some more time on my hands to explore more games so I figured it would be a good thing to have some set goals. Here we go!

  1. Get the Platinum trophy in Detroit: Become Human.
    I love this game, and I was so set on getting the Platinum trophy before Persona 5 Strikers came out. It was actually the first game I streamed on Twitch. I love the characters, the story and the number of endings it has. I think it’s the one game that I truly love the gameplay of, too. Of course, Persona 5 Strikers came out so I was occupied by that, and then I was/ am doing my AI-run of Persona 5 Royal. But I really want to get the Platinum in Detroit because it means a lot to me.
  2. Finish my Persona 5 Royal AI Takeover.
    I am currently at the Kaneshiro boss fight. I have been sick on and off since the end of November, so streaming and my whole playthrough have had to be put on the backbench for now. But I love this challenge, and there are so many other challenges that I want to explore. I can’t wait until I’m able to say that I completed this run.
  3. Finish the Yakuza games.
    Josh finished these games in a year. Less than a year, even. I know that I love the story. I’m on Yakuza 3 after playing Yakuza 0, Yakuza Kiwami and Yakuza Kiwami 2. It’s just one of those games that I just forget about sometimes, but I hope to be done with them by the end of this year. Not because I’m not enjoying them, but because I want to know the complete story and be able to talk to people about it.
  4. Play The Witcher 3… again.
    So, for those who don’t know, The Witcher 3 was one of the first games I ever played. Since then, I’ve played quite a few games and read most of the Witcher books (I’m on the last few pages of Tower of the Swallow and I’ll probably start Lady of the Lake tomorrow). I feel like I understand how games work more, and I would understand the plot a whole lot more if I played the game again. I think it would be a completely different experience. I love the universe and the characters so I just want to take in as much as I can.
  5. Finish Dark Souls.
    I’ve put a slight pause on my Bloodborne run, and we don’t really play Dark Souls 3 with Josh’s brothers anymore so Dark Souls is the last game I have that I can complete. More importantly, it feels like the only one that I have a chance to complete. Josh and I are going to get it on the PS5 because his PS4 is out of commission, so then we’ll be able to play it together again.
  6. Stream more consistently.
    This is one that is much more complicated than it seems on the surface. This means getting my health in check, which is further complicated by huge waiting lists. It means being more organised, more – on top of things? I just love streaming and making new friends. I have a tendency of burning myself out with streaming because there are so many different aspects of it to consider, especially because I’m autistic.
  7. Have a decent island in Animal Crossing New Horizons.
    Our island is a mess. Like, a literal mess. I would like to get it under wraps and just- not perfect, because no island is perfect… but, okay. I want to be able to be satisfied with our island by the time 2022 is over.
  8. Try 1 new game per month.
    This is much more specific than my original goal of ‘playing more games’. I know so many people play so many different games, but I tend to stick to my same old 3-5 games. 1 game a month is a minimum, and it’s realistic because I have PlayStation Plus. I want to try more games outside of my comfort zone, so having this goal will keep me on track.
  9. Get all of the story trophies for Catherine: Full Body.
    While I do want to get the Plat for Catherine: Full Body, I think it would be unrealistic of me to have all of these goals and expect myself to conquer all levels of Babel. So, my goal is to slowly get around to getting all of the story trophies because, after that, all I really have to worry about is Babel. I can train throughout the year for that, too.
  10. Make this blog a safe place for Gamers.
    This is a bit cliché and really I’ve been working on it this whole time, but I just want this blog to be a safe place. That’s why I’m no longer going to be putting out posts asserting my opinion. Instead, I’m just going to be sharing my opinion and the reasons behind it, and probably asking you for yours. My goal for this blog is so much different than it was when it started, and I love that. It shows growth and potential. I hope that this blog can be a safe place where people can come and read cool stuff sometimes, share their opinions sometimes, and just be themselves. This isn’t the type of gaming blog where it’s full of factual information. It’s full of emotion and love and passion. That’s what I have to share, it’s what I put out there and I hope that’s what you get out of it.

So, that’s it for this post, Gamers! These are some of the goals I wish to stick to and achieve in 2022. Do you have any goals you want to share? Let me know in the comments below! If you want to watch our streams, we stream on Twitch and our channel is 2nerds_1game. See you next post, Gamers!

Weird conversations I’ve had with my fiancé about gaming

Hey, Gamers! I have been super sick since the end of November, but this is something I’ve been working on for a few months. A while ago, I did a post about weird things that my fiancé (Joshua) has said while gaming and you guys loved it (it’s my most viewed post by over 10,000 which is crazy), so I wanted to do another one (which I am). But then I realised during one of our conversations that if anyone was listening in on us… we’d have some questions to answer. So here’s the list! Hope you guys get a giggle out of them!

Spoilers for Persona 5 Royal, Yakuza 0, kinda Yakuza: like a dragon if you count knowing who doesn’t die as a spoiler, Dark Souls and also references to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.

1) Tattoos

E: I want the Joestar birthmark tattooed here *wrist*

J: but its on the shoulder

E: but that would be painful, babe

J: imagine if Kiryu never got a back tattoo because it was “too painful”. Stop being a pussy

E: babe, he’s Kazuma Kiryu-

J: – imagine if Nishiki never got a-

E: no you didn’t let me finish, Kazuma Kiryu has been shot over 100 times

J: only 20 of those are canon

*silence*

B: this isn’t a conversation that should be happening right now

2) I came into the room after he finished Yakuza: Like A Dragon.

E: I thought you were done [with Yakuza Like A Dragon]

J: yeah this is premium adventure

E: ah okay fairs

J: I have to play as Nanba now because Ichiban is dead

E *looks at the screen*: no he’s not? He’s right there?

J: I can’t believe the game killed off Ichiban

E: babe you’re literally playing as him right now I can see it

J: this guy? Not-Ichiban? That isn’t Ichiban. Ichiban is dead

E: *gives up all hope in humanity*

3) A serious apology about Persona 5 Royal spoilers

E: … hey… babe… I uh… I need to talk to you about something serious

J: okay?

E: you know that big argument we had ages ago… about Kasumi and Sumire?

J: which one? Can you remind me of the specifics?

E: uh… the big one we had… about uh, whether or not they were twins

J: right okay… I was right?

E:… yeah… I’m sorry for getting really upset and defensive and saying you didn’t trust me

J: it’s fine I get why you thought that

3) What?

J: I saw a video that was titled “demon souls is my boyfriend’s new girlfriend”

E: yeah… Yakuza is my boyfriend’s new girlfriend

J: yeah

J: wait

J: no

5) Dark Souls Trophies

J: to be fair, in Dark Souls III you get a trophy for every boss, and in Bloodborne you get a trophy for every boss… who the fuck knows with Dark Souls II, who the fuck cares

E: but not with dark souls I?

J: no?

E: you’re telling me I didn’t get a trophy for beating the Taurus demon?

J: no?

E: *immediately checks trophy list* well that’s a bit shit

J: yeah

E: what about Sif?

J: what about Sif?

E: you don’t get a trophy for killing him?

J: no you do get one for doing covenant of Artorias but not for killing Sif

E: you’re telling me you have to murder the best boi- the bestest boi- and you don’t get a trophy

J: you don’t get a trophy for killing Solaire… but you do get his armour

E: THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT

6) Tachibana emotions

E: you know what? Tachibana is all precious and like must be protected in 0 but this is a man that basically worked his way up in the Chinese mafia despite racial tensions, came to Japan and randomly beat up some thug and earned the whole group’s respect, and then goes on to be one of the most powerful and feared person in Tokyo’s most dangerous place, Kamurocho.

J: yeah… well he wouldn’t do that if it wasn’t for his dialysis machine

E: stop

J: you know what? That poor dialysis machine is probably there thinking “any second now, Tachibana is going to walk through the door and I get to be useful again”

E: stop

J: stop talking about the heartbroken dialysis machine?

E: S T O P

7) Someone make him stop…

J: what was your favourite thing before Persona 5?

E:… it’s hard to remember my life before Persona 5

J: I mean yeah but you never wanted it to be your favourite thing

E: definitely not

J:… you’ll never see it coooomiiiiiing

8) I was ranting about my AI Persona 5 Royal run

E: so I know the levels, right? And I’m over levelled. I’m level 20. So why the fuck am I dying to blue enemies?

J: because you’ve surrounded yourself with incompetent baboons

9) This was at 3am

J: the reason Shido was so powerful was because he had the power of the Speedwagon foundation

E: Joshua… sleep

J: damn brat, I’ll sue

10) Uh, oops?

J: if you die I’ll have to do it again

E: or I can do it, I like to think I’m not completely incompetent

J: how good are you at parrying?

E: oh… im completely incompetent

11) I was playing Catherine: Full Body and he was not in the room

*On voice chat*

J: I love you

E: I love you too, dummy

J: I’m bored

E: I can hear the bells!

J: … I didn’t realise you were still doing puzzles, I thought you were just doing the dating sim stuff

E: I’ll date your sim

J: yeah, you usually do?

12) 2 days into playing Demon Souls

J: you wanna know something I found out? There’s actually like a million people in here that I didn’t even realise

E: a million?

J: well, like, four

13) I missed a few days of candy collecting in October and was sad because I didn’t think I’d have enough for all villagers so he said I could go on his account to get extra candy… and I’m an arachnophobe.

J: I should probably warn you, I have a tarantula in my inventory

E: why do I need to go into your inventory?

J: for the candy

E: it’ll be in your pockets, I’ll just drop it outside my house on the way back

J: that’s what I meant, my pockets

E: wh-WHY DO YOU HAVE A TARANTULA IN YOUR POCKETS

J: I- I just do… it’s not the weirdest thing I have in my pockets

E: I- wh- what else do you have in your pockets?

J: I have a great white shark

E: … Why do you have a great white shark in your pockets?

J: I didn’t want it to be lonely

E: the shark or the tarantula?

J: yes

14) After he finished Demon Souls, he wanted to know what build to do next… didn’t like my suggestion

E: I think you should do a luck build (on demon souls)

J: no

E: what? Not now, after, when you want to find everything

J: babe it’s a luck build, what am I meant to do?

E: find items

J: and? How am I meant to win the game?

E: by /using/ items

J: *intense death stare*

15) I’ve talked about how ashamed I am about his Arsene, please know I bring it up anytime I can to insult him. So he decided it would become a JoJo reference (like everything else).

E: your Arsene isn’t even curse

J: I reject my CURSEmanity, JoJo!

16) I can’t even remember why I was saying this, but apparently his point still stands

E: dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow

J: my cow can’t be Dishonored, it can’t play video games never mind Dishonored

J: … can’t play video games with hooves

And that’s it for this post, Gamers! Just thought I’d do something lighthearted since I’ve been sick and the holiday season tends to be a difficult one for a lot of people. Remember that Josh and I stream over on Twitch @2nerds_1game, follow this blog for more fun gaming content, and let me know if you liked this post! See you next time, Gamers!

The last post about stupid things he’s said:

https://eleanorreesgaming.com/2021/05/03/things-my-partner-has-said-while-gaming-that-i-never-thought-id-ever-hear-anyone-say/

Self-care tips for gamers (just in case you need it):

https://eleanorreesgaming.com/2021/08/16/10-self-care-tips-for-gamers-who-are-struggling-with-mental-illness/

Last months progress update:

https://eleanorreesgaming.com/2021/12/13/gaming-progress-november/