Hey, Gamers! I did this post about a year ago, and it quickly became my most popular post. It’s what made me start to include Josh more in my blog posts. For any new people, Josh is my fiancé and he’s hilarious (in my opinion). He’s my favourite person in the world and I am so happy that you guys enjoyed the last post so much. I think I’m going to do these posts annually because he says some crackers. Without further ado, here is the list:
10) ‘Breaking News: Detective cannot work out how to open a door”- Judgment
9) ‘Why is Diego listed as a stand user? He’s not, he’s a dinosaur!”- JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Eyes of Heaven
8) “You know what would be hilarious? If you go to fight the hydra after the second time, and as it does the slamming head attack you need it to do to attack it, it just whispered ‘you thought I was a hydra, but it was me, Dio!’” – Dark Souls
7) “Oh man, that guy’s still angry about yesterday… I don’t know what happened yesterday”- No Man’s Sky
6) “Just a few minutes, I’m doing a puzzle to prove to a talking statue that I’m worthy of becoming ding of za warudo”- Ni No Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom
5) “The game doesn’t tell me who my target is… OH I KILLED HIM… oh… oh no… I’m dead” – Hitman 3
4) “I don’t want an authentic claw machine experience, I just want to win!” – Lost Judgment
3) “God isn’t meant to cheat!” Pokemon Legends Arceus
2) “I can’t believe it, I’ve been playing Elden Ring all day and I don’t even have the Platinum yet”- Elden Ring, at 19:37 on release day.
Okay so this one was unbelievable but trust me, it happened and I am still in shock.
1) “My turn… and I’m gonna play MAGICAL DIMENSION *pulls a Yugioh card out of absolutely no where*”- Pokemon TCG
And now for some ‘honourable mentions’.
“If I close my eyes and Imagine a shiny then it looks shiny” – Pokemon Brilliant Diamond
“Come at me Broseph… ow I got hit”- Pokemon Legends Arceus
“Let me check my hand… yeah, still pants… about as pants as Leon’s direction skills” – Pokemon TCG
“It’s not a Joshua Higgins Gen 4 run without an Unown box”- Pokemon Legends Arceus (I realise now that I could’ve pointed out that Legends is not Gen 4, but oh well).
“Polite threatening always works!” – Pokemon Brilliant Diamond
“You are legally not allowed to attack me without my consent… now I consent to it”- Demon Souls
“Pro gamer tip- don’t be an idiot” – Bloodborne
“All it took was 86 life gems” – Dark Souls II, after beating Fume Knight
“I’m just a torso from a tor family” – No Man’s Sky (yes, it was sung)
“What the hell is this, Sean?” No Man’s Sky (yeah, it was a glitch and he was yelling at the creator of the game who was not in the room)
“No one wants help from their all powerful overlord”- No Man’s Sky
“Wait guys pots can’t move very fast!!!” – Dark Souls III (this is my personal favourite; it was said over voice chat with me and his brothers)
“Oh my god stop going into cream!”- JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Eyes of Heaven
“As it turns out, drones can’t trigger the automatic doors to open… good to know” – Judgement
“Oh no! I’m being sucked!” – 10 second Ninja X
“Oh no, the panties are giving him power!” – Judgment (this was yelled when the window was open so this was the worst for me)
“Ah shit, that’s a bomb!” – Judgment (9/10, most quotable in our everyday life. Sometimes I just remember about it randomly and quote it 5 times a day for the next week because it’s funny and random)
So, that’s it for this post, Gamers! While it’s a short one, I hope that it made you laugh. I’ve been keeping these notes for the past year, and I did not want to get rid of my without posting about them because to me, this man is a comical genius when he doesn’t put any thought into it. Remember that Josh and I stream on Twitch (the link is on my homepage but it’s 2nerds_1game), so you can check out more of his one liners there. Check out my socials to stay updated (and follow me on my fiction writing journey). See you next post, Gamers!