Hey, Gamers! I have been super sick since the end of November, but this is something I’ve been working on for a few months. A while ago, I did a post about weird things that my fiancé (Joshua) has said while gaming and you guys loved it (it’s my most viewed post by over 10,000 which is crazy), so I wanted to do another one (which I am). But then I realised during one of our conversations that if anyone was listening in on us… we’d have some questions to answer. So here’s the list! Hope you guys get a giggle out of them!
Spoilers for Persona 5 Royal, Yakuza 0, kinda Yakuza: like a dragon if you count knowing who doesn’t die as a spoiler, Dark Souls and also references to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.
E: I want the Joestar birthmark tattooed here *wrist*
J: but its on the shoulder
E: but that would be painful, babe
J: imagine if Kiryu never got a back tattoo because it was “too painful”. Stop being a pussy
E: babe, he’s Kazuma Kiryu-
J: – imagine if Nishiki never got a-
E: no you didn’t let me finish, Kazuma Kiryu has been shot over 100 times
J: only 20 of those are canon
B: this isn’t a conversation that should be happening right now
2) I came into the room after he finished Yakuza: Like A Dragon.
E: I thought you were done [with Yakuza Like A Dragon]
J: yeah this is premium adventure
E: ah okay fairs
J: I have to play as Nanba now because Ichiban is dead
E *looks at the screen*: no he’s not? He’s right there?
J: I can’t believe the game killed off Ichiban
E: babe you’re literally playing as him right now I can see it
J: this guy? Not-Ichiban? That isn’t Ichiban. Ichiban is dead
E: *gives up all hope in humanity*
3) A serious apology about Persona 5 Royal spoilers
E: … hey… babe… I uh… I need to talk to you about something serious
E: you know that big argument we had ages ago… about Kasumi and Sumire?
J: which one? Can you remind me of the specifics?
E: uh… the big one we had… about uh, whether or not they were twins
J: right okay… I was right?
E:… yeah… I’m sorry for getting really upset and defensive and saying you didn’t trust me
J: it’s fine I get why you thought that
J: I saw a video that was titled “demon souls is my boyfriend’s new girlfriend”
E: yeah… Yakuza is my boyfriend’s new girlfriend
5) Dark Souls Trophies
J: to be fair, in Dark Souls III you get a trophy for every boss, and in Bloodborne you get a trophy for every boss… who the fuck knows with Dark Souls II, who the fuck cares
E: but not with dark souls I?
E: you’re telling me I didn’t get a trophy for beating the Taurus demon?
E: *immediately checks trophy list* well that’s a bit shit
E: what about Sif?
J: what about Sif?
E: you don’t get a trophy for killing him?
J: no you do get one for doing covenant of Artorias but not for killing Sif
E: you’re telling me you have to murder the best boi- the bestest boi- and you don’t get a trophy
J: you don’t get a trophy for killing Solaire… but you do get his armour
E: THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT
6) Tachibana emotions
E: you know what? Tachibana is all precious and like must be protected in 0 but this is a man that basically worked his way up in the Chinese mafia despite racial tensions, came to Japan and randomly beat up some thug and earned the whole group’s respect, and then goes on to be one of the most powerful and feared person in Tokyo’s most dangerous place, Kamurocho.
J: yeah… well he wouldn’t do that if it wasn’t for his dialysis machine
J: you know what? That poor dialysis machine is probably there thinking “any second now, Tachibana is going to walk through the door and I get to be useful again”
J: stop talking about the heartbroken dialysis machine?
E: S T O P
7) Someone make him stop…
J: what was your favourite thing before Persona 5?
E:… it’s hard to remember my life before Persona 5
J: I mean yeah but you never wanted it to be your favourite thing
E: definitely not
J:… you’ll never see it coooomiiiiiing
8) I was ranting about my AI Persona 5 Royal run
E: so I know the levels, right? And I’m over levelled. I’m level 20. So why the fuck am I dying to blue enemies?
J: because you’ve surrounded yourself with incompetent baboons
9) This was at 3am
J: the reason Shido was so powerful was because he had the power of the Speedwagon foundation
E: Joshua… sleep
J: damn brat, I’ll sue
10) Uh, oops?
J: if you die I’ll have to do it again
E: or I can do it, I like to think I’m not completely incompetent
J: how good are you at parrying?
E: oh… im completely incompetent
11) I was playing Catherine: Full Body and he was not in the room
*On voice chat*
J: I love you
E: I love you too, dummy
J: I’m bored
E: I can hear the bells!
J: … I didn’t realise you were still doing puzzles, I thought you were just doing the dating sim stuff
E: I’ll date your sim
J: yeah, you usually do?
12) 2 days into playing Demon Souls
J: you wanna know something I found out? There’s actually like a million people in here that I didn’t even realise
E: a million?
J: well, like, four
13) I missed a few days of candy collecting in October and was sad because I didn’t think I’d have enough for all villagers so he said I could go on his account to get extra candy… and I’m an arachnophobe.
J: I should probably warn you, I have a tarantula in my inventory
E: why do I need to go into your inventory?
J: for the candy
E: it’ll be in your pockets, I’ll just drop it outside my house on the way back
J: that’s what I meant, my pockets
E: wh-WHY DO YOU HAVE A TARANTULA IN YOUR POCKETS
J: I- I just do… it’s not the weirdest thing I have in my pockets
E: I- wh- what else do you have in your pockets?
J: I have a great white shark
E: … Why do you have a great white shark in your pockets?
J: I didn’t want it to be lonely
E: the shark or the tarantula?
14) After he finished Demon Souls, he wanted to know what build to do next… didn’t like my suggestion
E: I think you should do a luck build (on demon souls)
E: what? Not now, after, when you want to find everything
J: babe it’s a luck build, what am I meant to do?
E: find items
J: and? How am I meant to win the game?
E: by /using/ items
J: *intense death stare*
15) I’ve talked about how ashamed I am about his Arsene, please know I bring it up anytime I can to insult him. So he decided it would become a JoJo reference (like everything else).
E: your Arsene isn’t even curse
J: I reject my CURSEmanity, JoJo!
16) I can’t even remember why I was saying this, but apparently his point still stands
E: dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow
J: my cow can’t be Dishonored, it can’t play video games never mind Dishonored
J: … can’t play video games with hooves
And that’s it for this post, Gamers! Just thought I’d do something lighthearted since I’ve been sick and the holiday season tends to be a difficult one for a lot of people. Remember that Josh and I stream over on Twitch @2nerds_1game, follow this blog for more fun gaming content, and let me know if you liked this post! See you next time, Gamers!
The last post about stupid things he’s said:
Self-care tips for gamers (just in case you need it):
Last months progress update: